A VISIT WITH MY DAD FROM THE AFTERLIFE

My dad visited me in a dream a couple days ago. And I think the way in which he made his presence known to me would be useful for other dreamers to know, since I could have easily not consciously recognized my dad. By "consciously", I mean with the same conscious awareness as I have when I'm consciously awake and aware of my surroundings.

I haven't had an experience with my dad since his death in a long while! I had awoken early, was up for a few minutes, and decided to go back to bed and sleep in. It was a good opportunity to try for an OBE. I used one of my techniques where I notice myself falling closer into sleep and then actively imagine myself getting out of bed and walking out of my bedroom and through each room of my house.

This experience started as a regular dream in which I was visiting Bruce and his wife at their house in Florida. It was like reliving my real vacation there from last year. In that real visit, and in my dream, Bruce wanted some time alone to work in his office and I had wanted to spend time with him. I had no choice but to wait until he was finished. In the real experience, in the meantime his wife Pharon asked me if I wanted to do a puzzle with her to pass the time. We did and I enjoyed that time with her.

However, in my dream of reliving this memory, I was stuck in a state of just waiting for Bruce. The dream didn't continue on to include the part about the puzzle. Literally, all I was doing was waiting for Bruce. I didn't realize that I was dreaming until what happened next.

Suddenly I found myself getting out of bed in my own house. I had no memory of what had just been happening moments earlier. I walked out of my bedroom, out to the hallway (like I had done earlier to initiate an OBE, but at this point I hadn't yet realized I was out of body), and I stood at the top of the stairs looking down just before walking down the stairs. I had heard that someone had just walked into my house and I wanted to see who it was. I was still in the same state of waiting for Bruce, and so that was my expectation. But it wasn't Bruce. Instead, there at the bottom of the stairs, stood my dad. He said, "I'm sorry that I've been so busy in my office. To pass the time, why don't you do a puzzle with your mom." (My dad was playing into my "waiting for Bruce" frame of mind in order to get my attention).

But I was confused. I didn't understand why Dad said that. For a few seconds I just looked at Dad without saying anything. I was trying to make sense out of what he just said. And then it dawned on me. "Just a few moments ago I was at Bruce's house, waiting for him to be finished working in his office. That was when his wife asked me if I wanted to do the puzzle with her to pass the time! But now I'm suddenly at home, and my dad is standing right here in front of me! I had been waiting for Bruce, not Dad, but Dad is here. I had done the puzzle with Pharon, not mom, but my dad is right here mentioning the puzzle. The time I spent with Bruce and his wife was last year, not now. My dad is dead but he's standing right here." At that moment I consciously made the choice to "no longer be waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" because my deceased father was standing right in front of me and I wanted to know more about this. It was becoming apparent to me that waiting for Bruce at his house was becoming less and less real, while seeing my dad standing right in front of me more and more real. So I chose to focus my attention here with Dad instead of continuing to focus on my previous surroundings. I was slowly finally understanding what was really going on. I consciously thought to myself, "That was a dream. But this is real."

It had taken a lot of patience for me to do all that processing, while standing at the top of the stairs looking at my dad. But when this realization hit me, everything became clear. Colors brightened, everything was very vivid. I was consciously aware that just a few moments ago I was dreaming. I was at this point very lucid, having a lucid dream. But it was more than just a dream. I checked again by thinking to myself, "I suddenly went from being at Bruce's house to being home. My dad knew about me waiting and about the puzzle. I know my dad is dead but he is right here. I know this isn't physical reality. And I know I had just been dreaming. Could this too also be just a dream?" I stood there, still processing all of this, while still looking down at my dad. He hadn't moved or changed, but only looked at me, smiling.

I don't know how long I stood there at the top of the stairs processing it all, but as I stood there looking at my dad, he smiled patiently. I suddenly noticed how young and healthy he looked, and it made me remember the other times that he's visited me since his death. Now he looked younger and healthier than he had ever looked in those other experiences. When he spoke before, about the puzzle, he had moved his lips. But now in this more vivid and lucid experience, Dad talked to me through his thoughts.

"Hi Vicky, I'm here to see you," he said. When he said that to me I thought, "Yes, it's a dream, a dream scene, not physical reality, but that's really my dad. I must be having an out-of-body experience." The interpreter overlay was gone. No more need for my dad's spirit to find a way to play a part in the dream reality that I had momentarily been focused in when I was "waiting for Bruce" and his wife was about to ask me to do the puzzle to pass the time. Now that I was consciously aware and had made the choice to turn my focus toward my dad rather than toward the dream reality, everything was so much more clear. I thought, "Oh my God, that's my dad. He's really here!"

I stood there in awe, so happy to see my dad. So happy to consciously realize what was happening. "My dad is here," I thought to myself. "He's really here!" That little girl part of me just wanted my daddy so much. He stood there patiently smiling up at me, allowing me to take it all in.

My emotions overtook me at that moment and I hurried down the stairs and wrapped my arms around my dad's neck, hugged him tight. I remember thinking and feeling that I was so happy to see my dad, so happy that he had come to see me, and so happy to see him so healthy looking. That's all I could think and feel at that moment, just surprise and joy at seeing my dad again.

And then suddenly I awoke.

The realness and vividness of this experience, along with my very clear and lucid conscious awareness proved to me that this visit from my dad was real. No doubt about it in my mind. He had found a way to become part of my reality in order to allow me to really notice consciously that he was really there. He took the opportunity of me being in a state of "waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" as a means to make his way into my awareness in a way that I would notice him consciously.

That one little window of opportunity could have been missed by me, if I hadn't consciously paid attention to the "flaw" in my current reality. Once I was consciously aware of the flaws and incongruities in that reality that didn't make sense, I was able to let go of it and see what was real right before me. I was able to make the conscious choice of where I wanted to focus my attention at that moment. This is the way in which I learned to lucid dream...to notice incongruities within the dream reality.

Just having those few moments of feeling, seeing, and remembering my dad's spirit was such a surprise and such a gift. It didn't matter that the dream/OBE surroundings weren't real physical things. All that was important to me at that moment was what I was feeling.

That's another point that I want to make...an experience doesn't have to be physically real in order to be a real experience. I read so many accounts of dreams from people who say that when they saw their deceased loved one, they told themselves it can't be real. I hope my experience with my dad shows that all that dream stuff is just overlaying the real information. It's such a loss when someone interprets their experience as not real, rather than seeing it for what it truly is. I know that when you can cut away the interpreter overlay layer, you can see what's really there by what you feel. I believe that when we can "be" in our true feelings and emotions, we're most connected to our true spirit, despite the framework we see around us. So often we define reality by what we experience externally rather than by what we feel internally. In my experience with Dad, I was able to consciously shed all that "dream stuff" overlaying what was real. Choosing that focus over everything else gave me such a special moment with my dad again.