RAVENOUS: DEVOURING OR CRAVING FOOD IN GREAT QUANTITIES.

Low-blood sugar is the worst feeling.  And it's a weird thing.  You're sweating profusely.  You can't think straight.  All your muscles get very weak.  You can't make decisions.  You have black spots in your vision.  You can't remember the words you want to say.  You're conscious but see pictures in your head instead of what's in front of you. And you get ravenous.

At its worst I hallucinate.  One of the recent worst episodes I've had was when I awoke from a nap and realized I was really low.  Made it down the stairs but by that time the hallucinations had kicked in. There were people in my living room at the bottom of the stairs guiding me into the kitchen because I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do.  It took me a few seconds to know they were hallucinations, at least having enough conscious awareness left to figure it out after I tried to ask them who they were.  They just told me "Go that way" and pointed to the kitchen.  Then I told myself, "Oh yeah, I need to eat something.  And they're not real."  It's a little weird.  My low-blood sugar hallucinations are always about people around me helping me, getting me up, getting me to eat something.  Maybe they are real.  Spirit helpers?  Maybe.  It's a nice thought.

Time gets really slowed down too.  One time I "came to" while standing in the kitchen staring at a jar of peanut butter.  I don't know how long I was standing there.  I had forgotten that I had to actually open the jar first.  Was just waiting for the peanut butter.

It can be funny when I wake up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar.  I only have vague memories of being in the kitchen eating when this happens but the real evidence of what went on comes the next morning.

One morning I was doing my usual thing, getting ready for work, when I noticed my lunch bag was already packed.  It had all kinds of stuff in it and I wondered how that happened.  Then I remembered I had a low blood-sugar episode during the night.  It explained what I'd found in my lunch bag!

Smarties, gummy bears, a cookie, caramel corn, marshmallows, Wheat Thins, Pop-Tarts, an orange, oatmeal, and a jar of peanut butter.

I don't remember doing that, but apparently while I was rummaging through the kitchen in one of my hallucinatory low blood-sugar ravenous states I must have thought it a good idea to pack my lunch for the next day.  Gee, how thoughtful of me!

IF YOU DO THIS, TRY THIS

I accidentally tossed the lid to the margarine tub onto a still-hot burner on my glass top stove.  Within seconds it started to melt.  I pulled it off and what was left was warped.  Boy, did I ever feel stupid!  I’m constantly reminding my kids, “Don’t touch that, it’s still hot” and here I go and do something like this.

Not only did my 3 pound tub of margarine now no longer have a lid, but the ink from the label had transferred to the stove top!

I tried to gently scrape it off while it was still hot but it was definitely stuck on there.  Even after it completely cooled, washing it didn’t work.  I didn't know what to do.  I was so embarrassed for having been so stupid.

Fortunately by pure accident I found an ingenious way to completely remove the impression!  A couple weeks later I needed to use that same burner--the little one in the back that hardly ever gets used--and when I was finished I didn’t even notice the stain on the stove was gone.  It wasn’t until I was loading up the dishwasher when I saw the back of the sauce pan I’d used.  The entire impression was now permanently imprinted onto the bottom of the pot!

WHAT NOT TO BRING

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Although my psychic project and book are still coming along nicely I haven't been keeping up with blogging, and I'm sorry about that.  But I have some normal life stuff to share, funny stuff.  Gotta have a sense of humor to keep you going in life, right?

Ok, so last month I had to make a stop at the courthouse to pick up a form.  My ex surprised me with an official court petition to modify our child support, so I had to go get a form and file my response.  Anyway, I totally spaced it that there are security scanners at the courthouse.  Oops.

I had the kids with me.  Thought it'd be fun to take the long way there, highway 93, and let the kids each drive one way.  They loved it.  We had a blast.  Anyway, back to the security scanner.

If I had remembered the security screening I would have cleaned out my purse.  I can't even remember the last time I cleaned out my purse.  So of course, of all the people in line they pick me to pull aside to do an extra search.  Why?  That's just my luck.  And oh yeah, it was my purse.

So the guy stops me and asks if he can look through my purse, after it had already gone through the x-ray machine.  Of course I tell him yes.  I mean, do I really have a choice at this point?  My kids are standing behind me, Abby asking me under her breath why they want to look through my purse.  And of course I have no idea why.

He says to me hesitantly as if he's trying to figure out just the right wording to ask his question, "Do you have, like, a bunch of...change or something?"  And I'm thinking of course I have change, who doesn't?

So I say, "Why? Did you see a bunch of tiny little faces?"

Ok, I didn't really say that but I thought it and that would have been totally funny except the look on his face told me it wasn't the best time to be cracking jokes.

I simply said "Yeah I do."  I had to bite my lip not to laugh because I imagined saying the joke and it had me laughing on the inside.

So he was even hesitant to do the looking, made me open my purse and unzip another smaller purse where I have, yes, a bunch of change.  He then carefully looked inside, carefully combed his hand through it with his head tilted a little back as if he was expecting something to jump out at him.  It was then that it dawned on me that maybe certain devices hidden in change are undetectable on an x-ray machine???

He felt satisfied that I had no weapons or bomb-making materials or whatever he thought I might have hidden in all that change.  I have to admit, it was an awkward amount of change.  I really should clean out my purse more often.

He then proceeded to do a search of the rest of my purse, as if the I-have-enough-change-to-spend-hours-up-in-Black Hawk scene wasn't embarrassing enough.  So at this point Abby's leaning in my ear again, this time saying, "This is so embarrassing!  Even the sketchy-looking guy in handcuffs didn't get searched as much as we are!"  I said, "There's a guy in handcuffs?" a little too loudly.  Oops.

So back to my purse.  Let's see.  Besides all the usual stuff like eyeglass lens wipes, ChapStick, empty gum wrappers, and old sticky notes...I had 9 blue ink pens.  (Wow, no wonder I can never find a pen at home.)  Two used injection needles.  (Niiice! That looks great while getting singled out for a search.)  About 50 paper clips.  (I have no idea).  A light bulb.  (Really? Who carries a light bulb around in their purse?) Oh yeah, and a bag of gummy bears (emergency low-blood sugar snack. Two carbs per bear--easy to count the carbs that way) even though the signs clearly state "no food or drink beyond this point".

If all those things are suspicious for being dangerous for some reason, well I'm not smart enough to know how.

He pulled out the bag of gummy bears, held it up to the light inspecting it and said, "Don't eat those in there, you'll get in trouble," and he let me go.  It definitely was a little embarrassing.  But I'm glad he didn't make me throw away my gummy bears.  Love those things!

Yep, I cleaned out my purse when I got home.