I often have a clear psychic connection while driving. Maybe it’s because driving creates an altered state of consciousness without me being aware anything's changed, making the connection easier.
The past couple of months I’d been more preoccupied than usual about some life issues causing me to worry about things I can't control. And then yesterday before I left work I consciously told myself to drop the issues, get back to focusing on the things I could control, and to just pay more attention to my inner guidance.
That intention helped me avoid a bad accident on the way home. You can call it an inner voice, psychic feeling, intuition, higher self, or whatever you want. But my advice is just listen to it. And though I know this, even I’m guilty of pushing it away sometimes. But yesterday I’m so glad I listened.
While on my way home from work the guy in the big white van in front of me kept braking. I couldn’t see around him so I wasn’t sure what his deal was. We were in the far left lane. Cars from the middle lane kept getting in front of him, so I knew he wasn’t braking because traffic up ahead was bumper to bumper.
I wanted to change lanes but didn’t have a chance yet, but as we crested a big hill it gave me a chance to see ahead of him. I saw no reason for him to be braking but since I was just a few blocks from my left-hand turn I thought I may as well just stay behind him. But then I got a distinct feeling that said, “If you’re going to do that, then stay farther behind to avoid hitting him.” I didn’t actually hear those words but their feelings and meaning were unmistakable.
So I listened. I fell back at least three car lengths between us, hoping no one would swoop in front of me since I know that my intuition only tell me need-to-know information and it usually comes only moments before an event or outcome. In other words, because I got the psychic nudge, an accident was bound to happen. If someone else had gotten in front of me they would have been involved in the collision.
About thirty seconds later, at the bottom of that big hill, I saw the van’s brake lights again. Now that we were at the bottom of the hill I couldn’t see around the van until a few seconds later a black truck in front of the van swerved to the left and came to a dead stop. I knew right then and there an impact was inevitable, and as the white van swerved to the right it crashed into the truck.
Because I had fallen behind as much as I did, I had plenty of time not only to avoid the collision but to also move around them on the left hand side, which had a full and empty left turn lane. Why the black truck slammed his brakes and came to a full stop had me baffled. There weren’t any other cars around. The guy in the black truck was out of the truck and on his phone pretty quickly so I knew he wasn’t having some medical issue, which is the only reason I would have stayed at the scene. Since I couldn’t see around the van at the time the black truck braked I really couldn’t tell whose fault it was...was the truck brake-checking? Was the van tailgating? I was just so grateful I got that psychic nudge to “stay farther behind to avoid hitting him.” And so glad that I listened to it.
Showing posts with label higher self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label higher self. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Thursday, February 4, 2010
CONTACT FROM MY DAD
My dad passed away two weeks ago. He’d been very sick for many years and lucky to have lived so long with such illness as congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, severe peripheral neuropathy, diabetes, and other problems. Each day since his death I'd been waiting for and expecting to feel his presence or see some sign of him trying to contact me in some way. My dad's belief in his physical life was that contact between the physical world and the other side wasn't right. It's not that he didn't believe it was possible, it's that he just didn't think it was right. It brought up a lot of questions in me. Now that dad's on the other side, would his belief prevent him from contacting me at all? Would his belief have changed now that he's on the other side?
Each day since his death I'd been sending my thoughts to him, of love, memories, and of letting him know I want to know how he's doing. It's my belief he's receiving my messages, but another question came up…is he ignoring my request for contact because of religious beliefs he held during his lifetime? Granted I had no idea what kind of message, sign, or contact dad would make...showing me a physical sign, hearing his voice in the white noise of a phone call, feeling his presence, or seeing him in a dream....but I figured he'd do something to answer my request for contact. It was never a question of mine whether he still existed somewhere or even if he was receiving my thoughts to him.
Then my next question was, when Dad receives my messages and loving thoughts, is it possible this would convince him it's okay to make contact? My only desire was to have some form of contact that, in whatever way, was a confirmation to me that it was indeed contact with him and a reassurance that he was doing fine. Because of my own belief and wide variety of experiences, I was open to anything. To me, it was only a matter of when.
Over the weekend as it was approaching a couple weeks since his passing, I was getting a little impatient. I figured by now I should have received something. I decided to give another try at making a serious effort to get my request through. I was at work, sitting in my chair at my desk. I closed my eyes and took some relaxing deep breaths. I directed my thoughts to my Higher Self and said in my mind, I'm setting intent for contact with my dad. The first part of my intent is that my messages and thoughts to Dad get sent to him, and the second part is that I receive, in some way, some contact from my dad in whatever way he feels comfortable and in whatever way I can perceive. And I reminded myself that this is the beginning of a process and I accepted that it will unfold in whatever manner and time it takes. (I hoped this last part would take the pressure off of any expectations I had that could block my perception).
Stating my intent didn't take long, maybe a minute or two. Instantly in complete surprise, I found myself on a ship sailing in the ocean. There was nothing to notice about the transition…it just went from one moment to the next. I was completely aware that I had just been sitting in my chair at work and setting an intent to my Higher Self, and yet I also felt completely realistically standing on a large, old-time ocean liner and looking out over the railing into the rushing waves.
I consciously decided to allow myself to go along with this scene to see where it led, and the more I relaxed, the more fully immersed into the scene I became. Soon I felt out of body like a point of consciousness, completely disconnected from my physical surroundings of just a moment ago. As I looked out over the railing and into the ocean, I saw the ocean waves, saw that we were moving, and saw that I had my back to the front of the ship and could not see where we were headed, only where we'd been.
Standing next to me on my left, someone dressed as the ship's Captain made his presence known by thought, letting me know he's received my messages and request. It was at that moment that I realized my intent to speak to my Higher Self had been delivered, and that this scene must be a symbolic representation of that process. My Higher Self dressed as Captain crossed in front of me and passed through a door on my right, and I could see him walk up a small flight of stairs, accompanied by someone else. I wondered where he was going and instinctively understood he was going up top to steer the ship to the destination I'd set intent for. I wanted to go too but felt that it wasn't my place to do so. The feeling I received told me that my role was only to go along for the ride. So this must be how it works, I thought. I am responsible for setting my intent, and then the rest gets taken care of. I don't even need to figure out how I get there but just go along for the ride.
Someone dressed in a sailor's uniform, accompanied by someone else, came out through the door and as he passed in front of me heading for the railing that overlooked the ocean he said to his companion, "But how will I know it works? Will I remember? How will I recognize him?" The person accompanying him reassured him that feeling doubt was normal but not to worry about that as long as he took responsibility for his part in the process. This seems to represent an aspect of myself that worries if I'll be able to feel the connection to my Higher Self the next time I want to set intention for something, I thought. Watching this whole scene in this way reassured me of the role that I play in this process.
I started to come back to normal waking consciousness and was able to remember the entire experience. Since this experience showed me how the process of placing intent works, I knew that I’d be soon having some contact with my dad.
Hours later while still at work and taking another break, I sat at my desk and closed my eyes to relax. I found myself suddenly standing inside my parents’ house. I was out of body again but wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t have the split awareness between the OBE and physical reality that I’d had in my previous experience while on the ship. I also wasn’t aware that just moments ago I was sitting at my desk at work.
As I stood inside my parents’ house I realized I could hear my dad speaking. It was such a joy to hear his voice again and hear his laughter. He was obviously in a very happy mood and enjoying himself. As I listened I could tell he was doing what he loved best…talking about God and relating stories from The Bible. My dad loved writing sermons. Hearing Dad this way was something I haven’t heard in many years. Dad sounded so young, vibrant, and alive…and especially happy. I was so relieved to hear and feel him this way. I knew Dad must have been feeling wonderful. Dad’s words flowed fluidly into each other without pause or space in between them, yet I could understand everything he said. It was as if hours of speaking only took mere seconds.
I wanted to go to him and wondered where he was. It sounded like he was high above me and it made me wonder maybe Dad is just upstairs in his room? But as soon as I thought that, I got the feeling I wasn’t able to go to where he was but was only receiving a message from Dad to let me know how he was doing. Oh. He must not actually be here in the house, but I just hear him. How am I able to hear my dad if he’s not really here? I asked myself.
Then I thought, he’s back! Dad’s back to his old self. I could tell just by listening to how happy he sounded that my dad was back to his old self, and that he was no longer suffering from all the illness and ailments of his physical body. That realization made me wonder, but Dad used to be so sick. Now he’s back to his old healthy, young self again. I haven’t heard Dad so happy in such a long time. By now I was a little confused, and it was at this point that I began to come back to normal waking consciousness very slowly. As I became more consciously focused in physical reality, I lost the feeling of being in my parents’ house, and along with it I was losing memory very quickly. The only thought in my mind that remained was hearing myself think “he’s back” and feeling my dad’s presence.
He’s back? I asked myself. He’s back alive again? I still wasn’t quite all the way back to normal waking consciousness as I began trying to analyze this. I thought that “he’s back” meant my dad had somehow been brought back to life. This obviously made no sense and I felt very confused. Then suddenly I remembered having seen my dad’s dead body in the ER and I knew it was not possible for him to be back alive again.
As I began to more fully come back to normal waking consciousness I thought about what I could have possibly meant by thinking the words “he’s back”.
Suddenly full memory of my OBE at my parents’ house came back into my awareness. I could remember everything…hearing dad’s voice, and hearing how happy, healthy, and young he sounded. It was amazing that from one moment to the next I could so easily forget everything that had just happened. But just by wondering what those words meant to me brought back full memory of the experience into my conscious awareness.
I indeed finally got my contact experience with my dad, and this experience showed me that Dad was back to his old self again, feeling young, happy, and enjoying himself. It felt so good to experience him this way and to know he is doing well on the other side. And although this wasn’t the type of contact experience I’d been expecting or hoping for, I feel the unexpectedness of it makes it all the more genuine. I am so thankful for it.
Each day since his death I'd been sending my thoughts to him, of love, memories, and of letting him know I want to know how he's doing. It's my belief he's receiving my messages, but another question came up…is he ignoring my request for contact because of religious beliefs he held during his lifetime? Granted I had no idea what kind of message, sign, or contact dad would make...showing me a physical sign, hearing his voice in the white noise of a phone call, feeling his presence, or seeing him in a dream....but I figured he'd do something to answer my request for contact. It was never a question of mine whether he still existed somewhere or even if he was receiving my thoughts to him.
Then my next question was, when Dad receives my messages and loving thoughts, is it possible this would convince him it's okay to make contact? My only desire was to have some form of contact that, in whatever way, was a confirmation to me that it was indeed contact with him and a reassurance that he was doing fine. Because of my own belief and wide variety of experiences, I was open to anything. To me, it was only a matter of when.
Over the weekend as it was approaching a couple weeks since his passing, I was getting a little impatient. I figured by now I should have received something. I decided to give another try at making a serious effort to get my request through. I was at work, sitting in my chair at my desk. I closed my eyes and took some relaxing deep breaths. I directed my thoughts to my Higher Self and said in my mind, I'm setting intent for contact with my dad. The first part of my intent is that my messages and thoughts to Dad get sent to him, and the second part is that I receive, in some way, some contact from my dad in whatever way he feels comfortable and in whatever way I can perceive. And I reminded myself that this is the beginning of a process and I accepted that it will unfold in whatever manner and time it takes. (I hoped this last part would take the pressure off of any expectations I had that could block my perception).
Stating my intent didn't take long, maybe a minute or two. Instantly in complete surprise, I found myself on a ship sailing in the ocean. There was nothing to notice about the transition…it just went from one moment to the next. I was completely aware that I had just been sitting in my chair at work and setting an intent to my Higher Self, and yet I also felt completely realistically standing on a large, old-time ocean liner and looking out over the railing into the rushing waves.
I consciously decided to allow myself to go along with this scene to see where it led, and the more I relaxed, the more fully immersed into the scene I became. Soon I felt out of body like a point of consciousness, completely disconnected from my physical surroundings of just a moment ago. As I looked out over the railing and into the ocean, I saw the ocean waves, saw that we were moving, and saw that I had my back to the front of the ship and could not see where we were headed, only where we'd been.
Standing next to me on my left, someone dressed as the ship's Captain made his presence known by thought, letting me know he's received my messages and request. It was at that moment that I realized my intent to speak to my Higher Self had been delivered, and that this scene must be a symbolic representation of that process. My Higher Self dressed as Captain crossed in front of me and passed through a door on my right, and I could see him walk up a small flight of stairs, accompanied by someone else. I wondered where he was going and instinctively understood he was going up top to steer the ship to the destination I'd set intent for. I wanted to go too but felt that it wasn't my place to do so. The feeling I received told me that my role was only to go along for the ride. So this must be how it works, I thought. I am responsible for setting my intent, and then the rest gets taken care of. I don't even need to figure out how I get there but just go along for the ride.
Someone dressed in a sailor's uniform, accompanied by someone else, came out through the door and as he passed in front of me heading for the railing that overlooked the ocean he said to his companion, "But how will I know it works? Will I remember? How will I recognize him?" The person accompanying him reassured him that feeling doubt was normal but not to worry about that as long as he took responsibility for his part in the process. This seems to represent an aspect of myself that worries if I'll be able to feel the connection to my Higher Self the next time I want to set intention for something, I thought. Watching this whole scene in this way reassured me of the role that I play in this process.
I started to come back to normal waking consciousness and was able to remember the entire experience. Since this experience showed me how the process of placing intent works, I knew that I’d be soon having some contact with my dad.
Hours later while still at work and taking another break, I sat at my desk and closed my eyes to relax. I found myself suddenly standing inside my parents’ house. I was out of body again but wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t have the split awareness between the OBE and physical reality that I’d had in my previous experience while on the ship. I also wasn’t aware that just moments ago I was sitting at my desk at work.
As I stood inside my parents’ house I realized I could hear my dad speaking. It was such a joy to hear his voice again and hear his laughter. He was obviously in a very happy mood and enjoying himself. As I listened I could tell he was doing what he loved best…talking about God and relating stories from The Bible. My dad loved writing sermons. Hearing Dad this way was something I haven’t heard in many years. Dad sounded so young, vibrant, and alive…and especially happy. I was so relieved to hear and feel him this way. I knew Dad must have been feeling wonderful. Dad’s words flowed fluidly into each other without pause or space in between them, yet I could understand everything he said. It was as if hours of speaking only took mere seconds.
I wanted to go to him and wondered where he was. It sounded like he was high above me and it made me wonder maybe Dad is just upstairs in his room? But as soon as I thought that, I got the feeling I wasn’t able to go to where he was but was only receiving a message from Dad to let me know how he was doing. Oh. He must not actually be here in the house, but I just hear him. How am I able to hear my dad if he’s not really here? I asked myself.
Then I thought, he’s back! Dad’s back to his old self. I could tell just by listening to how happy he sounded that my dad was back to his old self, and that he was no longer suffering from all the illness and ailments of his physical body. That realization made me wonder, but Dad used to be so sick. Now he’s back to his old healthy, young self again. I haven’t heard Dad so happy in such a long time. By now I was a little confused, and it was at this point that I began to come back to normal waking consciousness very slowly. As I became more consciously focused in physical reality, I lost the feeling of being in my parents’ house, and along with it I was losing memory very quickly. The only thought in my mind that remained was hearing myself think “he’s back” and feeling my dad’s presence.
He’s back? I asked myself. He’s back alive again? I still wasn’t quite all the way back to normal waking consciousness as I began trying to analyze this. I thought that “he’s back” meant my dad had somehow been brought back to life. This obviously made no sense and I felt very confused. Then suddenly I remembered having seen my dad’s dead body in the ER and I knew it was not possible for him to be back alive again.
As I began to more fully come back to normal waking consciousness I thought about what I could have possibly meant by thinking the words “he’s back”.
Suddenly full memory of my OBE at my parents’ house came back into my awareness. I could remember everything…hearing dad’s voice, and hearing how happy, healthy, and young he sounded. It was amazing that from one moment to the next I could so easily forget everything that had just happened. But just by wondering what those words meant to me brought back full memory of the experience into my conscious awareness.
I indeed finally got my contact experience with my dad, and this experience showed me that Dad was back to his old self again, feeling young, happy, and enjoying himself. It felt so good to experience him this way and to know he is doing well on the other side. And although this wasn’t the type of contact experience I’d been expecting or hoping for, I feel the unexpectedness of it makes it all the more genuine. I am so thankful for it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
HEMI-SYNC AND OBES
A few weekends ago I had the opportunity to attend a TMI get-together hosted by my friend Matthew in Boulder, Colorado. He's an outreach trainer for The Monroe Institute http://www.monroeinstitute.org/ and was giving a free hemi-sync session at his house. It's a fun way to indulge in the group energy of those of us coming together with the same intent of exploring.
I drove up with Rob--one of my friends who's been to TMI several times--and after everyone arrived there were 12 of us including Matthew and his wife Janet. We sat in the family room getting acquainted and sharing a little about what we know of TMI and hemi-sync technology and other related topics.
When we got ready to begin the first session, we broke into pairs to each share an MP3 player that Matthew had pre-programmed with the hemi-sync tape he wanted us to hear. We all scattered around the house to find our own spots and set out our comforters and pillows to get ready for the session. The tape we listened to is called Metamusic, this one named "Higher" and is very relaxing music with hemi-sync. This effect alters your brain waves, and I believe that typically hemi-sync works to give you the theta brainwave state, although I don't know this specifically. All I know for certain is what I know from my old days of experimentation with the Theta state and the quick effects it has on producing out-of-body experiences.
After getting comfy, it wasn't long before my partner James was breathing heavy and then snoring. I wondered how long it would be before I became that relaxed as well, but I knew that it's very easy to fall physically asleep without even realizing it. So far, though, I hadn't heard myself snoring so I wasn't yet as physically relaxed as I wanted to be. I mentally set my intent for something specific I wanted to experience during this session--a question I had in mind because of a recent OBE I had had the week before. It had been one of those "high" OBEs, what I have come to call a spiritual OBE in order to differentiate it from the more common classic-type out-of-body experiences I normally have. These spiritual ones have been ongoing for me over the years and seem to be telling me a story or preparing me for what's to come. I'm obviously still in the process of learning whatever they are all about, which is why I was left with a huge question after this last one. (I've mentioned a few of these OBEs in my book, Persephone's Journey). So my mental intent was to ask specific questions about that experience...Was the message I received really from my higher self, or was it just something that my subconscious mind made up and superimposed into my experience? How can I know for sure? How can I trust it was real?
After a few minutes I didn't hear my partner snoring anymore but was still aware of him lying next to me. What happened next told me I was already under the effects of the hemi-sync. Bruce was suddenly there next to me, tugging at my sleeve. I imagined looking over at him and saw him smiling and excited like a little kid who wanted to go play. "Bruce, I'm busy. I'm trying to do Matthew's workshop. We're listening to hemi-sync right now and I'm trying to have an experience." Bruce didn't seem to care, and he continued to tug and pull at me. I realized it wasn't really Bruce, not physical Bruce. This was nonphysical Bruce. "C'mon Vicky," he said. "Let's go have some fun." Just in case I was making all this up, I wasn't treating this experience as a true altered state of consciousness...yet. (Sometimes it just takes me a little while to figure out what’s really going on).
I wasn't budging. I wanted to remain focused on the Metamusic and give serious effort at exploring. I wanted the hemi-sync effects to take me away. What I didn't realize was that experiencing Bruce tugging at me meant I was already under its effects.
I tried once more to ignore Bruce beside me who I considered might only be just my imagination and not real. But ignoring him didn't make him go away, not for long anyway. Nonphysical Bruce flew out through the family room window and out into Matthew's back yard. He did a flip off the back porch and I thought, Ok, I'm definitely making this up. I need to just concentrate on the tape.
I focused my attention back to the tape, but it wasn't long before Bruce came floating back in and hovered next to me, which would have placed him directly on top of my partner. "Vicky, come on. I could show you some fancy ways to fly. It’ll be fun," Bruce said, tugging on me again. It was now slowly beginning to dawn on me that I wasn't making it up.
My ability to hear the tape came and went between focusing either on the tape or on Bruce. That, combined with how easily I perceived Bruce, was a good indication this was all real. Wait a sec, I thought. When I sent away the impression of Bruce before, which I thought was just imaginary and not real, he flew away. And now he’s back. Maybe this is real. Maybe I should just go along with this and see what happens. By trying so hard to have a nonphysical exploration experience, I didn't recognize I was already having one, until the idea came to me to just go along with whatever I was experiencing. Bruce's spirit was really actually trying to help and I hadn’t realized it until now. Now I realized that if I only focused on lying there waiting for something real to happen, then all I would experience is waiting for something to happen.
So I finally gave in and said "okay" to Bruce and nonphysically gave him my hand. I instantly floated out of my body and we flew away. I remembered nothing of our flying experience and what seemed only moments later, I found myself back in my body still lying there listening to the music. One little bit of confirmation of these types of nonphysical experiences is that while they are taking place, I'm not able to physically hear the music playing. Once back in my body, however, the sounds of the type are right there again. I smiled to myself, telling myself I'd have to remember to let Bruce know of his silly antics today. That is, let physical Bruce know, despite the fact that he'd have no memory of it.
Much to my surprise, my finally trusting the experience of Bruce as real must have blown my nonphysical perception wide open. Without any notice at all, I was now much deeper than I realized because a moment later Matthew walked up to me and knelt down in front of me. It was very awkward indeed, and I realized he was pretty much kneeling over my face. "Matthew! What are you doing? You're in my face!" This was weird. It looked like he was actually kneeling on my chest, yet I didn't feel a thing.
"It's ok. I'm making adjustments to your headset," he told me. It didn't make sense Matthew would actually be bothering me this way and it certainly was impossible for him to be physically kneeling over me like that. I realized this was nonphysical Matthew just as I’d experienced nonphysical Bruce a few moments ago. My perception, though, was now as clear and real-looking as that of physical-reality seeing. I must be out of body, cool! I'll just wait and see what this leads to, I thought to myself. I definitely wanted to continue trusting my experience and open up my nonphysical perception even more.
After nonphysical Matthew was finished making his necessary adjustments, he suddenly disappeared and the next thing I knew his wife Janet walked over to where I was lying on the floor. She quickly came around to my right side, reached down, and yanked my comforter out from under me in one quick swoop.
Hey! That's my blanket! I wonder what she did that for. She knows I was lying on it, I thought to myself, at first believing it was physically happening but then realizing it was all nonphysical. Because of the previous two experiences with nonphysical Bruce and nonphysical Matthew, I realized quickly that this was nonphysical Janet. Obviously they were all playing a role in inducing some kind of experience for me. I went along with it, knowing this had to have something to do with answering my questions I asked at the beginning while setting my intention.
Janet shook my blanket up into the air, the way all of us moms do when we're tucking our kids into bed. Because of my intention to just go along with whatever I experience, I continued to watch to see what was going to happen next. I fully expected my blanket to come gliding down on top of me, and while waiting I had that excited feeling my kids must feel when I do this to them. Even at the age they are now, 12 and 13, each of my kids still loves to feel silly this way, still asking me once in a while to shake the blanket into the air over the bed. As I watched, though, my blanket didn't come down. Janet held onto it as it slowly began to continue floating upward and out of her hands. By instinct I thought, My blanket! and I felt myself reach up into the air to grab it. Again I floated up out of my body.
This trick by nonphysical Janet had been a good one. It worked. Although I still felt as if I were lying on the floor, I instantly knew I was nonphysical Me. Not being able to hear the hemi-sync tape again was another indication that I was indeed under the full effects of it. A moment later something very heavy landed on my lap. I felt it plop onto me with a thud. I knew it had to be something nonphysical, and my instinctive reaction was to sit up and see what it was. I felt myself sit upright and look down into my lap, but I couldn't see my physical body. Oh yeah, I'm out of body. This is a nonphysical experience, I thought to myself. (I’m so used to using my physical instincts that I can sometimes easily forget that I’m out of body).
Laying across my lap was a huge book. I could clearly see the title of it, which read "I Don't Even Need To Know The Facts". I realized this was in direct answer to my questions I posed in my intent to know more about last week's spiritual OBE message I'd received. I chuckled to myself when I read the title. I knew exactly what it meant. I knew this book was a gift from my higher self as a way to answer my questions. I found it humorous that my higher self would deliver a message in the form of a book since I'm working on getting a book published. This nonphysical book with its vague title made me realize that I was spending too much focus on asking the wrong questions. I got the distinct feeling at that moment that the message delivered in my spiritual OBE was indeed a real message and that I just needed to trust and have faith. "Don't worry about the details", this book seemed to be telling me. "Focus on trust." This book was huge...a lot to be said about trust!
After the hemi-sync session was over, I felt very satisfied that I indeed had had a real experience and that it definitely answered what I'd set intent for. It's also fun to note that we each nonphysically are there working as guides and helpers to each other. Physically Matthew and his wife weren't aware of their nonphysical actions that helped facilitate my experience, just as Bruce rarely is aware either. But this is the nature of nonphysical exploration. Just another neat little tidbit that I love to point out.
I drove up with Rob--one of my friends who's been to TMI several times--and after everyone arrived there were 12 of us including Matthew and his wife Janet. We sat in the family room getting acquainted and sharing a little about what we know of TMI and hemi-sync technology and other related topics.
When we got ready to begin the first session, we broke into pairs to each share an MP3 player that Matthew had pre-programmed with the hemi-sync tape he wanted us to hear. We all scattered around the house to find our own spots and set out our comforters and pillows to get ready for the session. The tape we listened to is called Metamusic, this one named "Higher" and is very relaxing music with hemi-sync. This effect alters your brain waves, and I believe that typically hemi-sync works to give you the theta brainwave state, although I don't know this specifically. All I know for certain is what I know from my old days of experimentation with the Theta state and the quick effects it has on producing out-of-body experiences.
After getting comfy, it wasn't long before my partner James was breathing heavy and then snoring. I wondered how long it would be before I became that relaxed as well, but I knew that it's very easy to fall physically asleep without even realizing it. So far, though, I hadn't heard myself snoring so I wasn't yet as physically relaxed as I wanted to be. I mentally set my intent for something specific I wanted to experience during this session--a question I had in mind because of a recent OBE I had had the week before. It had been one of those "high" OBEs, what I have come to call a spiritual OBE in order to differentiate it from the more common classic-type out-of-body experiences I normally have. These spiritual ones have been ongoing for me over the years and seem to be telling me a story or preparing me for what's to come. I'm obviously still in the process of learning whatever they are all about, which is why I was left with a huge question after this last one. (I've mentioned a few of these OBEs in my book, Persephone's Journey). So my mental intent was to ask specific questions about that experience...Was the message I received really from my higher self, or was it just something that my subconscious mind made up and superimposed into my experience? How can I know for sure? How can I trust it was real?
After a few minutes I didn't hear my partner snoring anymore but was still aware of him lying next to me. What happened next told me I was already under the effects of the hemi-sync. Bruce was suddenly there next to me, tugging at my sleeve. I imagined looking over at him and saw him smiling and excited like a little kid who wanted to go play. "Bruce, I'm busy. I'm trying to do Matthew's workshop. We're listening to hemi-sync right now and I'm trying to have an experience." Bruce didn't seem to care, and he continued to tug and pull at me. I realized it wasn't really Bruce, not physical Bruce. This was nonphysical Bruce. "C'mon Vicky," he said. "Let's go have some fun." Just in case I was making all this up, I wasn't treating this experience as a true altered state of consciousness...yet. (Sometimes it just takes me a little while to figure out what’s really going on).
I wasn't budging. I wanted to remain focused on the Metamusic and give serious effort at exploring. I wanted the hemi-sync effects to take me away. What I didn't realize was that experiencing Bruce tugging at me meant I was already under its effects.
I tried once more to ignore Bruce beside me who I considered might only be just my imagination and not real. But ignoring him didn't make him go away, not for long anyway. Nonphysical Bruce flew out through the family room window and out into Matthew's back yard. He did a flip off the back porch and I thought, Ok, I'm definitely making this up. I need to just concentrate on the tape.
I focused my attention back to the tape, but it wasn't long before Bruce came floating back in and hovered next to me, which would have placed him directly on top of my partner. "Vicky, come on. I could show you some fancy ways to fly. It’ll be fun," Bruce said, tugging on me again. It was now slowly beginning to dawn on me that I wasn't making it up.
My ability to hear the tape came and went between focusing either on the tape or on Bruce. That, combined with how easily I perceived Bruce, was a good indication this was all real. Wait a sec, I thought. When I sent away the impression of Bruce before, which I thought was just imaginary and not real, he flew away. And now he’s back. Maybe this is real. Maybe I should just go along with this and see what happens. By trying so hard to have a nonphysical exploration experience, I didn't recognize I was already having one, until the idea came to me to just go along with whatever I was experiencing. Bruce's spirit was really actually trying to help and I hadn’t realized it until now. Now I realized that if I only focused on lying there waiting for something real to happen, then all I would experience is waiting for something to happen.
So I finally gave in and said "okay" to Bruce and nonphysically gave him my hand. I instantly floated out of my body and we flew away. I remembered nothing of our flying experience and what seemed only moments later, I found myself back in my body still lying there listening to the music. One little bit of confirmation of these types of nonphysical experiences is that while they are taking place, I'm not able to physically hear the music playing. Once back in my body, however, the sounds of the type are right there again. I smiled to myself, telling myself I'd have to remember to let Bruce know of his silly antics today. That is, let physical Bruce know, despite the fact that he'd have no memory of it.
Much to my surprise, my finally trusting the experience of Bruce as real must have blown my nonphysical perception wide open. Without any notice at all, I was now much deeper than I realized because a moment later Matthew walked up to me and knelt down in front of me. It was very awkward indeed, and I realized he was pretty much kneeling over my face. "Matthew! What are you doing? You're in my face!" This was weird. It looked like he was actually kneeling on my chest, yet I didn't feel a thing.
"It's ok. I'm making adjustments to your headset," he told me. It didn't make sense Matthew would actually be bothering me this way and it certainly was impossible for him to be physically kneeling over me like that. I realized this was nonphysical Matthew just as I’d experienced nonphysical Bruce a few moments ago. My perception, though, was now as clear and real-looking as that of physical-reality seeing. I must be out of body, cool! I'll just wait and see what this leads to, I thought to myself. I definitely wanted to continue trusting my experience and open up my nonphysical perception even more.
After nonphysical Matthew was finished making his necessary adjustments, he suddenly disappeared and the next thing I knew his wife Janet walked over to where I was lying on the floor. She quickly came around to my right side, reached down, and yanked my comforter out from under me in one quick swoop.
Hey! That's my blanket! I wonder what she did that for. She knows I was lying on it, I thought to myself, at first believing it was physically happening but then realizing it was all nonphysical. Because of the previous two experiences with nonphysical Bruce and nonphysical Matthew, I realized quickly that this was nonphysical Janet. Obviously they were all playing a role in inducing some kind of experience for me. I went along with it, knowing this had to have something to do with answering my questions I asked at the beginning while setting my intention.
Janet shook my blanket up into the air, the way all of us moms do when we're tucking our kids into bed. Because of my intention to just go along with whatever I experience, I continued to watch to see what was going to happen next. I fully expected my blanket to come gliding down on top of me, and while waiting I had that excited feeling my kids must feel when I do this to them. Even at the age they are now, 12 and 13, each of my kids still loves to feel silly this way, still asking me once in a while to shake the blanket into the air over the bed. As I watched, though, my blanket didn't come down. Janet held onto it as it slowly began to continue floating upward and out of her hands. By instinct I thought, My blanket! and I felt myself reach up into the air to grab it. Again I floated up out of my body.
This trick by nonphysical Janet had been a good one. It worked. Although I still felt as if I were lying on the floor, I instantly knew I was nonphysical Me. Not being able to hear the hemi-sync tape again was another indication that I was indeed under the full effects of it. A moment later something very heavy landed on my lap. I felt it plop onto me with a thud. I knew it had to be something nonphysical, and my instinctive reaction was to sit up and see what it was. I felt myself sit upright and look down into my lap, but I couldn't see my physical body. Oh yeah, I'm out of body. This is a nonphysical experience, I thought to myself. (I’m so used to using my physical instincts that I can sometimes easily forget that I’m out of body).
Laying across my lap was a huge book. I could clearly see the title of it, which read "I Don't Even Need To Know The Facts". I realized this was in direct answer to my questions I posed in my intent to know more about last week's spiritual OBE message I'd received. I chuckled to myself when I read the title. I knew exactly what it meant. I knew this book was a gift from my higher self as a way to answer my questions. I found it humorous that my higher self would deliver a message in the form of a book since I'm working on getting a book published. This nonphysical book with its vague title made me realize that I was spending too much focus on asking the wrong questions. I got the distinct feeling at that moment that the message delivered in my spiritual OBE was indeed a real message and that I just needed to trust and have faith. "Don't worry about the details", this book seemed to be telling me. "Focus on trust." This book was huge...a lot to be said about trust!
After the hemi-sync session was over, I felt very satisfied that I indeed had had a real experience and that it definitely answered what I'd set intent for. It's also fun to note that we each nonphysically are there working as guides and helpers to each other. Physically Matthew and his wife weren't aware of their nonphysical actions that helped facilitate my experience, just as Bruce rarely is aware either. But this is the nature of nonphysical exploration. Just another neat little tidbit that I love to point out.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
MORE ON GUIDANCE
Last week while I was reaching into the linen closet, a question casually crossed my mind which I thought of asking my friend. Suddenly my Guidance spoke up and suggested I wait, because my friend would be emailing me the answer to that exact question soon, when he was ready. That was the feeling I got, and so I decided to listen to it. Too often my ego and its accompanying emotions barge in and push that Guidance feeling out of the way, and either I ignore it or I don’t hear it altogether. As it turned out, several hours later that evening, I received an email from my friend telling me news that was the precise answer to the question I was wondering. The timing and the preciseness of it was too uncanny to be mere coincidence, and recognizing that old familiar Guidance feeling couldn’t be mistaken. Oh boy, that got me excited. I’d been in such a slump for a while now that I was spending pretty much every waking moment mentally yelling “Where is my Guidance and why aren’t you talking to me?!”
I love how it sneaks its way in when I’m least expecting of it, like when I’m moseying around the house not mentally yelling “Where’s my Guidance?” I need to remember that.
I spent the last four years working on writing a memoir-style book on my paranormal and spiritual life experiences, and it wasn’t until writing everything out that I realized how prevalent that thing I call my Guidance was in my life. I adopted that term from my friend Bruce Moen. He's written five books on the subject of afterlife exploration. His website is http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/. Most of what I’ve learned I attribute to his teachings and the great influence he’s had on my experience with the paranormal. The way my life has changed now, it’s a pretty common conversation for my circle of friends to be discussing what we do nonphysically. And I think that’s one of the most important things I’ve learned from Bruce, is that we are already living nonphysically. This physical world and our physical selves are not all there is. It’s taken me a few years to really grasp that concept, and I’m still learning, still asking questions. And Bruce is always patient with me, explaining things again as many times as I need it. In today’s conversation about that topic he said there is nowhere that I don’t already exist, and exploring nonphysically is just a matter of shifting my focus of attention there.
So that’s where my thoughts are focused these days, shifting my focus of attention and awareness back to that old familiar feeling of what I call my Guidance. I’m finally beginning to understand it now. It’s my connection to my higher self, all aspects of my own Consciousness. Those psychic experiences I’ve had all my life, in all their various forms, are all times when my physically-focused consciousness was connected with my higher Conscious self and able to pick up information I’d usually have no normal means of knowing. For years I used to wonder who was responsible for giving me my psychic information. It was me! All those instances of psychic clairvoyant visions, ESP, psychic dreams, OBEs, and hearing The Voice of my Guidance—all that information was coming from another perspective than what this limited physical world self could know. I look at it that my higher self perspective sees the bigger picture, whatever that may be, while the me here in the physical world perspective has to live moment by moment through time and space.
Bruce always reminds me too that exploring nonphysically requires the use of nonphysical senses to be able to interact there. As I think about it, we use nonphysical senses here in this reality all the time too, but we just don’t really think about it. An example of what I mean happened the other day. I had just cleaned out my daughter’s closet and found an old back pack filled with seashells. I mentioned this to her and then put the pack back in the closet. Later that evening, she wanted to look at the seashells and asked me to go get them. I went into her bedroom without bothering to walk all the way over to turn on the light. I knew I wouldn’t need any light to find what I was looking for. Because I had been the one who organized her closet and had located the seashells, I knew exactly where they were. As I reached into the dark closet, being completely unable to physically see a thing, I thought to myself, “I can’t see it but I know it’s there” and in my mind’s eye I saw exactly what I was doing. I didn’t need the bedroom light to be on for that. I realized I was using nonphysical senses to find what I was looking for. And it also made me realize that while I’m trying to explore nonphysically, I shouldn’t get hung up on struggling to find what I’m looking for. If I can pinpoint my intention of what it is I’m after, then I can easily find it. It’s just a matter of reaching out for it, like the intention of reaching for a bag of seashells in a dark closet. Exploring nonphysically is just a matter of knowing exactly what you want and shifting your focus of attention there. I’m going to remember that the next time I’m focusing on exploring. Just reach out and grab it. It’s there.
Making those connections to my Guidance is what I’m working on these days. Instead of waiting for it to happen to me again, I’m consciously bridging that connection as often as possible now, practicing that process, recognizing that feeling, and living and creating in that area of consciousness. It’s an exciting realization for me…to finally actually realize that those gifts of psychic, paranormal, and spiritual experiences I’ve had all my life weren’t just bestowed upon me by some kind stranger who took pity on me or felt I deserved some grace of kindness at the moment. I had had an inkling all those years that one day I’d be learning the reason behind all those weird and wonderful experiences. I’d hoped that they were there for a reason, all leading up to some grand realization.
And as whenever I learn something new, I still find myself hoping that there’s still a lot more to learn.
I love how it sneaks its way in when I’m least expecting of it, like when I’m moseying around the house not mentally yelling “Where’s my Guidance?” I need to remember that.
I spent the last four years working on writing a memoir-style book on my paranormal and spiritual life experiences, and it wasn’t until writing everything out that I realized how prevalent that thing I call my Guidance was in my life. I adopted that term from my friend Bruce Moen. He's written five books on the subject of afterlife exploration. His website is http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/. Most of what I’ve learned I attribute to his teachings and the great influence he’s had on my experience with the paranormal. The way my life has changed now, it’s a pretty common conversation for my circle of friends to be discussing what we do nonphysically. And I think that’s one of the most important things I’ve learned from Bruce, is that we are already living nonphysically. This physical world and our physical selves are not all there is. It’s taken me a few years to really grasp that concept, and I’m still learning, still asking questions. And Bruce is always patient with me, explaining things again as many times as I need it. In today’s conversation about that topic he said there is nowhere that I don’t already exist, and exploring nonphysically is just a matter of shifting my focus of attention there.
So that’s where my thoughts are focused these days, shifting my focus of attention and awareness back to that old familiar feeling of what I call my Guidance. I’m finally beginning to understand it now. It’s my connection to my higher self, all aspects of my own Consciousness. Those psychic experiences I’ve had all my life, in all their various forms, are all times when my physically-focused consciousness was connected with my higher Conscious self and able to pick up information I’d usually have no normal means of knowing. For years I used to wonder who was responsible for giving me my psychic information. It was me! All those instances of psychic clairvoyant visions, ESP, psychic dreams, OBEs, and hearing The Voice of my Guidance—all that information was coming from another perspective than what this limited physical world self could know. I look at it that my higher self perspective sees the bigger picture, whatever that may be, while the me here in the physical world perspective has to live moment by moment through time and space.
Bruce always reminds me too that exploring nonphysically requires the use of nonphysical senses to be able to interact there. As I think about it, we use nonphysical senses here in this reality all the time too, but we just don’t really think about it. An example of what I mean happened the other day. I had just cleaned out my daughter’s closet and found an old back pack filled with seashells. I mentioned this to her and then put the pack back in the closet. Later that evening, she wanted to look at the seashells and asked me to go get them. I went into her bedroom without bothering to walk all the way over to turn on the light. I knew I wouldn’t need any light to find what I was looking for. Because I had been the one who organized her closet and had located the seashells, I knew exactly where they were. As I reached into the dark closet, being completely unable to physically see a thing, I thought to myself, “I can’t see it but I know it’s there” and in my mind’s eye I saw exactly what I was doing. I didn’t need the bedroom light to be on for that. I realized I was using nonphysical senses to find what I was looking for. And it also made me realize that while I’m trying to explore nonphysically, I shouldn’t get hung up on struggling to find what I’m looking for. If I can pinpoint my intention of what it is I’m after, then I can easily find it. It’s just a matter of reaching out for it, like the intention of reaching for a bag of seashells in a dark closet. Exploring nonphysically is just a matter of knowing exactly what you want and shifting your focus of attention there. I’m going to remember that the next time I’m focusing on exploring. Just reach out and grab it. It’s there.
Making those connections to my Guidance is what I’m working on these days. Instead of waiting for it to happen to me again, I’m consciously bridging that connection as often as possible now, practicing that process, recognizing that feeling, and living and creating in that area of consciousness. It’s an exciting realization for me…to finally actually realize that those gifts of psychic, paranormal, and spiritual experiences I’ve had all my life weren’t just bestowed upon me by some kind stranger who took pity on me or felt I deserved some grace of kindness at the moment. I had had an inkling all those years that one day I’d be learning the reason behind all those weird and wonderful experiences. I’d hoped that they were there for a reason, all leading up to some grand realization.
And as whenever I learn something new, I still find myself hoping that there’s still a lot more to learn.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
PERSPECTIVE
Back in 2004 is when I really first began choosing to learn meditation. I didn't really have an idea of how to do it but had been reading books about it. I wondered if there was a correct way to meditate, or a formula to follow. As usual, my analytical mind was taking over too much, and I was making it way more complicated than it needed to be. So I thought, I have no idea what it means to raise my vibration or raise my awareness, but I'll just go with the intention that that's what I'm going to do. Late one morning home alone, I relaxed my mind and body, and set my mind with the intention of learning how to meditate and connect with my spirit guides. All the books say we all have them, and I wanted to communicate with mine.
I soon began to doze off. Now and then I'd lightly awaken and then quickly "put myself under" again. After quite some time I woke from a very deep, restful sleep and feeling as if I'd been very, very far away. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the sunlight shining through the windows was a soft golden color as if the sun had made a point to shine more prominently than normal into my bedroom. For a moment I felt very lightened by the effect as if a huge weight had been lifted off me. And suddenly in my mind's eye I saw a clear picture of a marijuana leaf. Being naturally gifted visually, I wasn't shocked I was able to see such a clear vision in my mind; however, it being a marijuana leaf baffled me. That's marijuana, I thought. I wonder why I'm being shown this. I don't have anything to do with drugs. This doesn't have anything to do with me. My feelings were such that I was in no way associated to something so negative. I felt/heard in my mind, "It's all about perspective. It doesn't have to be something negative. Your reaction to the vision is negative, but the plant can be used in a positive way as well. Whatever your feelings, it's still just a plant. It's all a matter of perspective."
The feeling/voice I heard was right. My reaction to the plant didn't change the fact that it was still just a plant. If I changed my perspective, then my feelings changed. It was at that point I actually heard as clear as a physical voice, "When you get bogged down, we get bogged down." I heard it clearly. I was shocked to actually hear these words spoken. And it made me think, I never use the words "bogged down". These words hadn't come from my own thoughts. It made me wonder, who's the "we"? Did it mean there's a group of guides who work with me? Is this what the books meant by higher self?
I began to understand that the communication between myself and my guidance can't work to its fullest extent unless I change my perspective. So what did changing my perspective really mean? Since then I've often thought about it, wondering if it means trying to see things from a different viewpoint or in a different light. I’ve learned that taking any negative reaction, however slight, out of the equation definitely had to do with it. Negativity narrowed my perspective down, positivity opened me up. Maybe that was the formula to making meditation work and learning to communicate with my guides.
It can be the hardest thing to do sometimes, trying not to get bogged down by negative thoughts and feelings. Changing perspective, I've learned, can't be faked. You have to actually change something inside yourself in order to open up to that greater perception, and what I’ve learned is that experiencing the feeling of love is the fastest way to do that. Focusing on love immediately shifts your perspective. When I see the need in my life to work on that, I can actually feel the change inside me taking place. And it does work; once you change your perspective, you do feel different. And you do feel differently about not just that one aspect, but about things in general. Things start clicking into place faster. Synchronicities happen. Those happy coincidences that really aren't coincidences at all. You realize that that positive perspective is the magic to making consciousness work for you.
I soon began to doze off. Now and then I'd lightly awaken and then quickly "put myself under" again. After quite some time I woke from a very deep, restful sleep and feeling as if I'd been very, very far away. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the sunlight shining through the windows was a soft golden color as if the sun had made a point to shine more prominently than normal into my bedroom. For a moment I felt very lightened by the effect as if a huge weight had been lifted off me. And suddenly in my mind's eye I saw a clear picture of a marijuana leaf. Being naturally gifted visually, I wasn't shocked I was able to see such a clear vision in my mind; however, it being a marijuana leaf baffled me. That's marijuana, I thought. I wonder why I'm being shown this. I don't have anything to do with drugs. This doesn't have anything to do with me. My feelings were such that I was in no way associated to something so negative. I felt/heard in my mind, "It's all about perspective. It doesn't have to be something negative. Your reaction to the vision is negative, but the plant can be used in a positive way as well. Whatever your feelings, it's still just a plant. It's all a matter of perspective."
The feeling/voice I heard was right. My reaction to the plant didn't change the fact that it was still just a plant. If I changed my perspective, then my feelings changed. It was at that point I actually heard as clear as a physical voice, "When you get bogged down, we get bogged down." I heard it clearly. I was shocked to actually hear these words spoken. And it made me think, I never use the words "bogged down". These words hadn't come from my own thoughts. It made me wonder, who's the "we"? Did it mean there's a group of guides who work with me? Is this what the books meant by higher self?
I began to understand that the communication between myself and my guidance can't work to its fullest extent unless I change my perspective. So what did changing my perspective really mean? Since then I've often thought about it, wondering if it means trying to see things from a different viewpoint or in a different light. I’ve learned that taking any negative reaction, however slight, out of the equation definitely had to do with it. Negativity narrowed my perspective down, positivity opened me up. Maybe that was the formula to making meditation work and learning to communicate with my guides.
It can be the hardest thing to do sometimes, trying not to get bogged down by negative thoughts and feelings. Changing perspective, I've learned, can't be faked. You have to actually change something inside yourself in order to open up to that greater perception, and what I’ve learned is that experiencing the feeling of love is the fastest way to do that. Focusing on love immediately shifts your perspective. When I see the need in my life to work on that, I can actually feel the change inside me taking place. And it does work; once you change your perspective, you do feel different. And you do feel differently about not just that one aspect, but about things in general. Things start clicking into place faster. Synchronicities happen. Those happy coincidences that really aren't coincidences at all. You realize that that positive perspective is the magic to making consciousness work for you.
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