Low-blood sugar is the worst feeling. And it's a weird thing. You're sweating profusely. You can't think straight. All your muscles get very weak. You can't make decisions. You have black spots in your vision. You can't remember the words you want to say. You're conscious but see pictures in your head instead of what's in front of you. And you get ravenous.
At its worst I hallucinate. One of the recent worst episodes I've had was when I awoke from a nap and realized I was really low. Made it down the stairs but by that time the hallucinations had kicked in. There were people in my living room at the bottom of the stairs guiding me into the kitchen because I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do. It took me a few seconds to know they were hallucinations, at least having enough conscious awareness left to figure it out after I tried to ask them who they were. They just told me "Go that way" and pointed to the kitchen. Then I told myself, "Oh yeah, I need to eat something. And they're not real." It's a little weird. My low-blood sugar hallucinations are always about people around me helping me, getting me up, getting me to eat something. Maybe they are real. Spirit helpers? Maybe. It's a nice thought.
Time gets really slowed down too. One time I "came to" while standing in the kitchen staring at a jar of peanut butter. I don't know how long I was standing there. I had forgotten that I had to actually open the jar first. Was just waiting for the peanut butter.
It can be funny when I wake up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar. I only have vague memories of being in the kitchen eating when this happens but the real evidence of what went on comes the next morning.
One morning I was doing my usual thing, getting ready for work, when I noticed my lunch bag was already packed. It had all kinds of stuff in it and I wondered how that happened. Then I remembered I had a low blood-sugar episode during the night. It explained what I'd found in my lunch bag!
Smarties, gummy bears, a cookie, caramel corn, marshmallows, Wheat Thins, Pop-Tarts, an orange, oatmeal, and a jar of peanut butter.
I don't remember doing that, but apparently while I was rummaging through the kitchen in one of my hallucinatory low blood-sugar ravenous states I must have thought it a good idea to pack my lunch for the next day. Gee, how thoughtful of me!
Showing posts with label spirit guides. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirit guides. Show all posts
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
CONTACT FROM A DEAD FRIEND
A dead friend came to visit in an unusual way, making himself known in my awareness by popping into my mind a memory from some twenty years ago. It was the type of memory that you would have no reason to think about unless something triggered it. But I could think of no logical trigger for this particular memory.
The memory spontaneously played in my mind's eye as if I were watching a recorded silent video version of it, all from the same visual perspective of the eyes of my 17-year-old self. As I watched the replay I remembered the moment as clearly as if it had just actually taken place. It made me laugh at myself, remembering my impulsive youthfulness that sometimes got mistaken for arrogance I suppose. I was having fun, being as spontaneous as this odd flashback of a memory.
At the time of the flashback, I didn't consider it a visit, just a memory. I didn't realize it was a direct answer to the intent I’d set in requesting Guidance to help me learn to make contact with the deceased. After all, I had no reason to think this friend from my past was dead.
The next day I happened to be browsing a website for my upcoming 20th high school reunion and the announcement section caught my eye. His name was there, listed as deceased…the friend from the spontaneous memory the day before. I couldn’t believe it. Could the spontaneous memory flashback have anything to do with him consciously deciding to contact me from the other side?
I sat there thinking hard about what I was doing in the moments just before the odd memory flashback had popped into my head. And I remembered that I was sitting at my desk, browsing Bruce’s website, http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/, and had read his response to a question about the use of a Quija Board for contacting your spirit guide. That conversation got me thinking about my wanting to contact my own spirit guides. (I already obviously believed in such contact because of my many previous experiences).
So I closed my eyes, took some deep relaxing breaths, and I set the intent that I'd like to have my Guidance help facilitate my practice at learning after-death communication. I asked Guidance to give me an experience where I'm in contact with a deceased person and to help me learn to recognize such an experience when it happens.
Now that I realized the odd memory flashback had occurred right after I set that intent, I was excited that I had gotten a direct experience that was exactly what I'd asked for. But I was disappointed in myself that I had failed to recognize it for what it was.
My friend Bruce tells me all the time, "Vicky, you need to pay attention to the very next thing that comes into your awareness, no matter what it is, even if it doesn't seem to fit or make sense. It will almost always be in direct response to what you were just thinking, asking, or intending."
Because I failed to recognize this after-death contact at the moment it happened, I wanted to find a way to verify that it was indeed genuine contact. Then I got an idea. I'd ask a test question, whose answer must prove that this sequence of events had indeed been a tailored experience and was indeed conscious contact from a dead friend. So I relaxed, set intent, and spoke to my Guidance again. This time I said, "Can you please show me something that proves to me the contact from this deceased person was real?" I waited but seemingly nothing happened. Well, as I've been learning, something did happen, I just failed to notice it…again.
In the most splendidly orchestrated way, the next thing that actually popped into my awareness was—not so ironically—another spontaneous memory of another friend from long ago. This memory, however, went back much farther than some twenty years. This memory went back all the way to the first grade. That would have made me around 7. That would place this memory back in time about thirty years. I knew instantly that there was no other logical trigger for this memory. The sequence of events played perfectly in my mind's eye, forcing me to relive a moment of my life from way back when.
Again, I failed to see this second spontaneous memory as an answer to the question I had just posed to my Guidance. I also made the mistake of not seeing this memory as a connection to the previous experience. Although they were very similar odd experiences, I wasn't aware of what was in store for me.
The realization of the connection, however, came a few hours later that day when I received an email from a woman who was the girl in my memory from first grade. Her email gave her phone number, and when I called she said she'd been thinking of me for a while, wanting to find a way to contact me. Finally she found my email address because of the high school reunion website. It had indeed been many years since we'd been in contact.
Well, if that isn’t a direct answer then I don’t know what is. The odds were way beyond mere coincidence. A memory of her popping into my mind just hours before she contacted me was not something I'd brush off as mere coincidence. It was a definite sign from my Guidance, letting me know in a very clear way that my experience of having the thought or memory of someone popping into my awareness was an indication of that person’s intention of contacting me.
Obviously with these two identical experiences, it didn't matter whether the person was dead or alive. Because I had no real way of confirming the first contact with the person now known to be deceased, I couldn't verify that he was actually intending contact with me. But because the second, living person could verify her desire to contact me, it gave me enough verification to trust this type of experience as an indicator of conscious contact.
Bruce is right. When there is something that comes into your awareness immediately after placing an intent, you can almost always count on it being in direct answer to what you were just thinking, feeling, asking, or intending. Our Guidance does this for us. And the way we perceive and receive information coming into our awareness is a filtration process that comes to our conscious minds in a way which we can recognize. Paying attention to this process is key.
I’ve noticed this throughout my life. And I'm sure many people have too, but we always tend to call it coincidence. You think of someone you haven't seen or talked to in a long time. Then suddenly the phone rings, and it’s them. What a coincidence, we say.
Dead or alive, we're all connected that way. Our thoughts and intentions really are powerful things.
The memory spontaneously played in my mind's eye as if I were watching a recorded silent video version of it, all from the same visual perspective of the eyes of my 17-year-old self. As I watched the replay I remembered the moment as clearly as if it had just actually taken place. It made me laugh at myself, remembering my impulsive youthfulness that sometimes got mistaken for arrogance I suppose. I was having fun, being as spontaneous as this odd flashback of a memory.
At the time of the flashback, I didn't consider it a visit, just a memory. I didn't realize it was a direct answer to the intent I’d set in requesting Guidance to help me learn to make contact with the deceased. After all, I had no reason to think this friend from my past was dead.
The next day I happened to be browsing a website for my upcoming 20th high school reunion and the announcement section caught my eye. His name was there, listed as deceased…the friend from the spontaneous memory the day before. I couldn’t believe it. Could the spontaneous memory flashback have anything to do with him consciously deciding to contact me from the other side?
I sat there thinking hard about what I was doing in the moments just before the odd memory flashback had popped into my head. And I remembered that I was sitting at my desk, browsing Bruce’s website, http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/, and had read his response to a question about the use of a Quija Board for contacting your spirit guide. That conversation got me thinking about my wanting to contact my own spirit guides. (I already obviously believed in such contact because of my many previous experiences).
So I closed my eyes, took some deep relaxing breaths, and I set the intent that I'd like to have my Guidance help facilitate my practice at learning after-death communication. I asked Guidance to give me an experience where I'm in contact with a deceased person and to help me learn to recognize such an experience when it happens.
Now that I realized the odd memory flashback had occurred right after I set that intent, I was excited that I had gotten a direct experience that was exactly what I'd asked for. But I was disappointed in myself that I had failed to recognize it for what it was.
My friend Bruce tells me all the time, "Vicky, you need to pay attention to the very next thing that comes into your awareness, no matter what it is, even if it doesn't seem to fit or make sense. It will almost always be in direct response to what you were just thinking, asking, or intending."
Because I failed to recognize this after-death contact at the moment it happened, I wanted to find a way to verify that it was indeed genuine contact. Then I got an idea. I'd ask a test question, whose answer must prove that this sequence of events had indeed been a tailored experience and was indeed conscious contact from a dead friend. So I relaxed, set intent, and spoke to my Guidance again. This time I said, "Can you please show me something that proves to me the contact from this deceased person was real?" I waited but seemingly nothing happened. Well, as I've been learning, something did happen, I just failed to notice it…again.
In the most splendidly orchestrated way, the next thing that actually popped into my awareness was—not so ironically—another spontaneous memory of another friend from long ago. This memory, however, went back much farther than some twenty years. This memory went back all the way to the first grade. That would have made me around 7. That would place this memory back in time about thirty years. I knew instantly that there was no other logical trigger for this memory. The sequence of events played perfectly in my mind's eye, forcing me to relive a moment of my life from way back when.
Again, I failed to see this second spontaneous memory as an answer to the question I had just posed to my Guidance. I also made the mistake of not seeing this memory as a connection to the previous experience. Although they were very similar odd experiences, I wasn't aware of what was in store for me.
The realization of the connection, however, came a few hours later that day when I received an email from a woman who was the girl in my memory from first grade. Her email gave her phone number, and when I called she said she'd been thinking of me for a while, wanting to find a way to contact me. Finally she found my email address because of the high school reunion website. It had indeed been many years since we'd been in contact.
Well, if that isn’t a direct answer then I don’t know what is. The odds were way beyond mere coincidence. A memory of her popping into my mind just hours before she contacted me was not something I'd brush off as mere coincidence. It was a definite sign from my Guidance, letting me know in a very clear way that my experience of having the thought or memory of someone popping into my awareness was an indication of that person’s intention of contacting me.
Obviously with these two identical experiences, it didn't matter whether the person was dead or alive. Because I had no real way of confirming the first contact with the person now known to be deceased, I couldn't verify that he was actually intending contact with me. But because the second, living person could verify her desire to contact me, it gave me enough verification to trust this type of experience as an indicator of conscious contact.
Bruce is right. When there is something that comes into your awareness immediately after placing an intent, you can almost always count on it being in direct answer to what you were just thinking, feeling, asking, or intending. Our Guidance does this for us. And the way we perceive and receive information coming into our awareness is a filtration process that comes to our conscious minds in a way which we can recognize. Paying attention to this process is key.
I’ve noticed this throughout my life. And I'm sure many people have too, but we always tend to call it coincidence. You think of someone you haven't seen or talked to in a long time. Then suddenly the phone rings, and it’s them. What a coincidence, we say.
Dead or alive, we're all connected that way. Our thoughts and intentions really are powerful things.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
PERSPECTIVE
Back in 2004 is when I really first began choosing to learn meditation. I didn't really have an idea of how to do it but had been reading books about it. I wondered if there was a correct way to meditate, or a formula to follow. As usual, my analytical mind was taking over too much, and I was making it way more complicated than it needed to be. So I thought, I have no idea what it means to raise my vibration or raise my awareness, but I'll just go with the intention that that's what I'm going to do. Late one morning home alone, I relaxed my mind and body, and set my mind with the intention of learning how to meditate and connect with my spirit guides. All the books say we all have them, and I wanted to communicate with mine.
I soon began to doze off. Now and then I'd lightly awaken and then quickly "put myself under" again. After quite some time I woke from a very deep, restful sleep and feeling as if I'd been very, very far away. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the sunlight shining through the windows was a soft golden color as if the sun had made a point to shine more prominently than normal into my bedroom. For a moment I felt very lightened by the effect as if a huge weight had been lifted off me. And suddenly in my mind's eye I saw a clear picture of a marijuana leaf. Being naturally gifted visually, I wasn't shocked I was able to see such a clear vision in my mind; however, it being a marijuana leaf baffled me. That's marijuana, I thought. I wonder why I'm being shown this. I don't have anything to do with drugs. This doesn't have anything to do with me. My feelings were such that I was in no way associated to something so negative. I felt/heard in my mind, "It's all about perspective. It doesn't have to be something negative. Your reaction to the vision is negative, but the plant can be used in a positive way as well. Whatever your feelings, it's still just a plant. It's all a matter of perspective."
The feeling/voice I heard was right. My reaction to the plant didn't change the fact that it was still just a plant. If I changed my perspective, then my feelings changed. It was at that point I actually heard as clear as a physical voice, "When you get bogged down, we get bogged down." I heard it clearly. I was shocked to actually hear these words spoken. And it made me think, I never use the words "bogged down". These words hadn't come from my own thoughts. It made me wonder, who's the "we"? Did it mean there's a group of guides who work with me? Is this what the books meant by higher self?
I began to understand that the communication between myself and my guidance can't work to its fullest extent unless I change my perspective. So what did changing my perspective really mean? Since then I've often thought about it, wondering if it means trying to see things from a different viewpoint or in a different light. I’ve learned that taking any negative reaction, however slight, out of the equation definitely had to do with it. Negativity narrowed my perspective down, positivity opened me up. Maybe that was the formula to making meditation work and learning to communicate with my guides.
It can be the hardest thing to do sometimes, trying not to get bogged down by negative thoughts and feelings. Changing perspective, I've learned, can't be faked. You have to actually change something inside yourself in order to open up to that greater perception, and what I’ve learned is that experiencing the feeling of love is the fastest way to do that. Focusing on love immediately shifts your perspective. When I see the need in my life to work on that, I can actually feel the change inside me taking place. And it does work; once you change your perspective, you do feel different. And you do feel differently about not just that one aspect, but about things in general. Things start clicking into place faster. Synchronicities happen. Those happy coincidences that really aren't coincidences at all. You realize that that positive perspective is the magic to making consciousness work for you.
I soon began to doze off. Now and then I'd lightly awaken and then quickly "put myself under" again. After quite some time I woke from a very deep, restful sleep and feeling as if I'd been very, very far away. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the sunlight shining through the windows was a soft golden color as if the sun had made a point to shine more prominently than normal into my bedroom. For a moment I felt very lightened by the effect as if a huge weight had been lifted off me. And suddenly in my mind's eye I saw a clear picture of a marijuana leaf. Being naturally gifted visually, I wasn't shocked I was able to see such a clear vision in my mind; however, it being a marijuana leaf baffled me. That's marijuana, I thought. I wonder why I'm being shown this. I don't have anything to do with drugs. This doesn't have anything to do with me. My feelings were such that I was in no way associated to something so negative. I felt/heard in my mind, "It's all about perspective. It doesn't have to be something negative. Your reaction to the vision is negative, but the plant can be used in a positive way as well. Whatever your feelings, it's still just a plant. It's all a matter of perspective."
The feeling/voice I heard was right. My reaction to the plant didn't change the fact that it was still just a plant. If I changed my perspective, then my feelings changed. It was at that point I actually heard as clear as a physical voice, "When you get bogged down, we get bogged down." I heard it clearly. I was shocked to actually hear these words spoken. And it made me think, I never use the words "bogged down". These words hadn't come from my own thoughts. It made me wonder, who's the "we"? Did it mean there's a group of guides who work with me? Is this what the books meant by higher self?
I began to understand that the communication between myself and my guidance can't work to its fullest extent unless I change my perspective. So what did changing my perspective really mean? Since then I've often thought about it, wondering if it means trying to see things from a different viewpoint or in a different light. I’ve learned that taking any negative reaction, however slight, out of the equation definitely had to do with it. Negativity narrowed my perspective down, positivity opened me up. Maybe that was the formula to making meditation work and learning to communicate with my guides.
It can be the hardest thing to do sometimes, trying not to get bogged down by negative thoughts and feelings. Changing perspective, I've learned, can't be faked. You have to actually change something inside yourself in order to open up to that greater perception, and what I’ve learned is that experiencing the feeling of love is the fastest way to do that. Focusing on love immediately shifts your perspective. When I see the need in my life to work on that, I can actually feel the change inside me taking place. And it does work; once you change your perspective, you do feel different. And you do feel differently about not just that one aspect, but about things in general. Things start clicking into place faster. Synchronicities happen. Those happy coincidences that really aren't coincidences at all. You realize that that positive perspective is the magic to making consciousness work for you.
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