Ok, so last month I had to make a stop at the courthouse to pick up a form. My ex surprised me with an official court petition to modify our child support, so I had to go get a form and file my response. Anyway, I totally spaced it that there are security scanners at the courthouse. Oops.
I had the kids with me. Thought it'd be fun to take the long way there, highway 93, and let the kids each drive one way. They loved it. We had a blast. Anyway, back to the security scanner.
If I had remembered the security screening I would have cleaned out my purse. I can't even remember the last time I cleaned out my purse. So of course, of all the people in line they pick me to pull aside to do an extra search. Why? That's just my luck. And oh yeah, it was my purse.
So the guy stops me and asks if he can look through my purse, after it had already gone through the x-ray machine. Of course I tell him yes. I mean, do I really have a choice at this point? My kids are standing behind me, Abby asking me under her breath why they want to look through my purse. And of course I have no idea why.
He says to me hesitantly as if he's trying to figure out just the right wording to ask his question, "Do you have, like, a bunch of...change or something?" And I'm thinking of course I have change, who doesn't?
So I say, "Why? Did you see a bunch of tiny little faces?"
Ok, I didn't really say that but I thought it and that would have been totally funny except the look on his face told me it wasn't the best time to be cracking jokes.
I simply said "Yeah I do." I had to bite my lip not to laugh because I imagined saying the joke and it had me laughing on the inside.
So he was even hesitant to do the looking, made me open my purse and unzip another smaller purse where I have, yes, a bunch of change. He then carefully looked inside, carefully combed his hand through it with his head tilted a little back as if he was expecting something to jump out at him. It was then that it dawned on me that maybe certain devices hidden in change are undetectable on an x-ray machine???
He felt satisfied that I had no weapons or bomb-making materials or whatever he thought I might have hidden in all that change. I have to admit, it was an awkward amount of change. I really should clean out my purse more often.
He then proceeded to do a search of the rest of my purse, as if the I-have-enough-change-to-spend-hours-up-in-Black Hawk scene wasn't embarrassing enough. So at this point Abby's leaning in my ear again, this time saying, "This is so embarrassing! Even the sketchy-looking guy in handcuffs didn't get searched as much as we are!" I said, "There's a guy in handcuffs?" a little too loudly. Oops.
So back to my purse. Let's see. Besides all the usual stuff like eyeglass lens wipes, ChapStick, empty gum wrappers, and old sticky notes...I had 9 blue ink pens. (Wow, no wonder I can never find a pen at home.) Two used injection needles. (Niiice! That looks great while getting singled out for a search.) About 50 paper clips. (I have no idea). A light bulb. (Really? Who carries a light bulb around in their purse?) Oh yeah, and a bag of gummy bears (emergency low-blood sugar snack. Two carbs per bear--easy to count the carbs that way) even though the signs clearly state "no food or drink beyond this point".
If all those things are suspicious for being dangerous for some reason, well I'm not smart enough to know how.
He pulled out the bag of gummy bears, held it up to the light inspecting it and said, "Don't eat those in there, you'll get in trouble," and he let me go. It definitely was a little embarrassing. But I'm glad he didn't make me throw away my gummy bears. Love those things!
Yep, I cleaned out my purse when I got home.
2 comments:
Reminds me I need to clean out my purse.Lol Good post!
funny article , I think he just likes to alleviate boredom by poking in womens purses. what a job eh?
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