CONTACT FROM MY DAD

My dad passed away two weeks ago. He’d been very sick for many years and lucky to have lived so long with such illness as congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, severe peripheral neuropathy, diabetes, and other problems. Each day since his death I'd been waiting for and expecting to feel his presence or see some sign of him trying to contact me in some way. My dad's belief in his physical life was that contact between the physical world and the other side wasn't right. It's not that he didn't believe it was possible, it's that he just didn't think it was right. It brought up a lot of questions in me. Now that dad's on the other side, would his belief prevent him from contacting me at all? Would his belief have changed now that he's on the other side?

Each day since his death I'd been sending my thoughts to him, of love, memories, and of letting him know I want to know how he's doing. It's my belief he's receiving my messages, but another question came up…is he ignoring my request for contact because of religious beliefs he held during his lifetime? Granted I had no idea what kind of message, sign, or contact dad would make...showing me a physical sign, hearing his voice in the white noise of a phone call, feeling his presence, or seeing him in a dream....but I figured he'd do something to answer my request for contact. It was never a question of mine whether he still existed somewhere or even if he was receiving my thoughts to him.

Then my next question was, when Dad receives my messages and loving thoughts, is it possible this would convince him it's okay to make contact? My only desire was to have some form of contact that, in whatever way, was a confirmation to me that it was indeed contact with him and a reassurance that he was doing fine. Because of my own belief and wide variety of experiences, I was open to anything. To me, it was only a matter of when.

Over the weekend as it was approaching a couple weeks since his passing, I was getting a little impatient. I figured by now I should have received something. I decided to give another try at making a serious effort to get my request through. I was at work, sitting in my chair at my desk. I closed my eyes and took some relaxing deep breaths. I directed my thoughts to my Higher Self and said in my mind, I'm setting intent for contact with my dad. The first part of my intent is that my messages and thoughts to Dad get sent to him, and the second part is that I receive, in some way, some contact from my dad in whatever way he feels comfortable and in whatever way I can perceive. And I reminded myself that this is the beginning of a process and I accepted that it will unfold in whatever manner and time it takes. (I hoped this last part would take the pressure off of any expectations I had that could block my perception).

Stating my intent didn't take long, maybe a minute or two. Instantly in complete surprise, I found myself on a ship sailing in the ocean. There was nothing to notice about the transition…it just went from one moment to the next. I was completely aware that I had just been sitting in my chair at work and setting an intent to my Higher Self, and yet I also felt completely realistically standing on a large, old-time ocean liner and looking out over the railing into the rushing waves.

I consciously decided to allow myself to go along with this scene to see where it led, and the more I relaxed, the more fully immersed into the scene I became. Soon I felt out of body like a point of consciousness, completely disconnected from my physical surroundings of just a moment ago. As I looked out over the railing and into the ocean, I saw the ocean waves, saw that we were moving, and saw that I had my back to the front of the ship and could not see where we were headed, only where we'd been.

Standing next to me on my left, someone dressed as the ship's Captain made his presence known by thought, letting me know he's received my messages and request. It was at that moment that I realized my intent to speak to my Higher Self had been delivered, and that this scene must be a symbolic representation of that process. My Higher Self dressed as Captain crossed in front of me and passed through a door on my right, and I could see him walk up a small flight of stairs, accompanied by someone else. I wondered where he was going and instinctively understood he was going up top to steer the ship to the destination I'd set intent for. I wanted to go too but felt that it wasn't my place to do so. The feeling I received told me that my role was only to go along for the ride. So this must be how it works, I thought. I am responsible for setting my intent, and then the rest gets taken care of. I don't even need to figure out how I get there but just go along for the ride.

Someone dressed in a sailor's uniform, accompanied by someone else, came out through the door and as he passed in front of me heading for the railing that overlooked the ocean he said to his companion, "But how will I know it works? Will I remember? How will I recognize him?" The person accompanying him reassured him that feeling doubt was normal but not to worry about that as long as he took responsibility for his part in the process. This seems to represent an aspect of myself that worries if I'll be able to feel the connection to my Higher Self the next time I want to set intention for something, I thought. Watching this whole scene in this way reassured me of the role that I play in this process.

I started to come back to normal waking consciousness and was able to remember the entire experience. Since this experience showed me how the process of placing intent works, I knew that I’d be soon having some contact with my dad.



Hours later while still at work and taking another break, I sat at my desk and closed my eyes to relax. I found myself suddenly standing inside my parents’ house. I was out of body again but wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t have the split awareness between the OBE and physical reality that I’d had in my previous experience while on the ship. I also wasn’t aware that just moments ago I was sitting at my desk at work.

As I stood inside my parents’ house I realized I could hear my dad speaking. It was such a joy to hear his voice again and hear his laughter. He was obviously in a very happy mood and enjoying himself. As I listened I could tell he was doing what he loved best…talking about God and relating stories from The Bible. My dad loved writing sermons. Hearing Dad this way was something I haven’t heard in many years. Dad sounded so young, vibrant, and alive…and especially happy. I was so relieved to hear and feel him this way. I knew Dad must have been feeling wonderful. Dad’s words flowed fluidly into each other without pause or space in between them, yet I could understand everything he said. It was as if hours of speaking only took mere seconds.

I wanted to go to him and wondered where he was. It sounded like he was high above me and it made me wonder maybe Dad is just upstairs in his room? But as soon as I thought that, I got the feeling I wasn’t able to go to where he was but was only receiving a message from Dad to let me know how he was doing. Oh. He must not actually be here in the house, but I just hear him. How am I able to hear my dad if he’s not really here? I asked myself.

Then I thought, he’s back! Dad’s back to his old self. I could tell just by listening to how happy he sounded that my dad was back to his old self, and that he was no longer suffering from all the illness and ailments of his physical body. That realization made me wonder, but Dad used to be so sick. Now he’s back to his old healthy, young self again. I haven’t heard Dad so happy in such a long time. By now I was a little confused, and it was at this point that I began to come back to normal waking consciousness very slowly. As I became more consciously focused in physical reality, I lost the feeling of being in my parents’ house, and along with it I was losing memory very quickly. The only thought in my mind that remained was hearing myself think “he’s back” and feeling my dad’s presence.

He’s back? I asked myself. He’s back alive again? I still wasn’t quite all the way back to normal waking consciousness as I began trying to analyze this. I thought that “he’s back” meant my dad had somehow been brought back to life. This obviously made no sense and I felt very confused. Then suddenly I remembered having seen my dad’s dead body in the ER and I knew it was not possible for him to be back alive again.

As I began to more fully come back to normal waking consciousness I thought about what I could have possibly meant by thinking the words “he’s back”.

Suddenly full memory of my OBE at my parents’ house came back into my awareness. I could remember everything…hearing dad’s voice, and hearing how happy, healthy, and young he sounded. It was amazing that from one moment to the next I could so easily forget everything that had just happened. But just by wondering what those words meant to me brought back full memory of the experience into my conscious awareness.

I indeed finally got my contact experience with my dad, and this experience showed me that Dad was back to his old self again, feeling young, happy, and enjoying himself. It felt so good to experience him this way and to know he is doing well on the other side. And although this wasn’t the type of contact experience I’d been expecting or hoping for, I feel the unexpectedness of it makes it all the more genuine. I am so thankful for it.

I LOVE YOU DAD

I can't believe I'm writing this, especially since my last blog post was about nonphysical communication with my dad while he was alive. Dad passed away on January 19, 2010, just three weeks after I wrote that story about him. The first thing on my mind was will dad contact me in some way? Will I still be able to communicate with him? And those who know me well have been asking, "So have you had contact with your dad since his death?"

Well, not yet. Not that I'm aware of anyway. So far I haven't sensed his presence in any way physically around me. But everyone's different, and I am not sure in what way would be dad's style. One way I expected was just to get the sense that dad was around me, talking to me, and that I'd feel his presence and words. I'll have to continue tuning into my nonphysical senses and seeing what I can pick up.

I am so fortunate and thankful to have come this far in my belief system...to know and believe that physical death is not the end but only a transition, and to be able to emotionally survive the death of one of my parents and be "ok". It will always be difficult having to endure the death of a loved one, but I truly know that death isn't the end of a life. My spiritual beliefs have comforted me, my psychic and paranormal life experiences have prepared me, and my sense of faith has supported me enough to know. And for that I am truely fortunate and eternally grateful.

So while I still haven't received any sign or feeling of dad's presence since his passing, I'm still talking to him every day, sending him my thoughts and messages. I know he's receiving it all. And I do believe I will have a contact experience from him in some way.

Some things I know:

1. Mom says dad didn't believe it was right to contact the other side and vice versa. However, now that he's there would his belief carry over and prevent him from making contact? Even so, could my belief in afterlife contact bridge this gap and show dad it's ok? I will always believe our loved ones receive our thoughts over there, whether or not we receive verification or contact. And in my heart I believe they find ways to get through to us...we just need to be open to receive it.

2. Bruce says sometimes those who have just passed are busy...not insofar as in the sense of time that we experience here in the physical, but more in a sense of frame-of-mind kind of busy. So, if you are trying to make contact and feel you're not receiving anything, it could mean that they are busy. They need time to get into the frame of mind, too, for making contact. They need time to adjust to the transition and their new surroundings and ways of being, and time to do some healing, growing, and learning as well. But our messages always get through no matter what. If you direct your thoughts to them, they will receive them. And they will get back to you when it's the right time.

3. Sometimes our own frame of mind is not conducive to receiving contact. We may be trying so hard to hear from them that we are not in the right frame of mind to listen and receive. Sometimes just doing mindless, everyday tasks is a perfect frame of mind for contact.

4. Bruce also suggested to me not to try so hard looking for physical signs but to just let the sign stick out on its own. A sign could be anything; you just have to notice it and discover what meaning it has for you. Our loved ones have our best interest at heart. They know our moods, feelings, and frames of mind, and they will try to get through to us when it's a good time or in a way we can notice.

When the ER team decided to stop trying to resuscitate Dad, I was relieved. It had been over an hour and I knew he was already gone and not coming back. Dad was only 69 but had suffered with congestive heart failure, peripheral neuropathy, atrial fibrillation, diabetes, and other health issues for many years. I was relieved for him, knowing he no longer had to put up with that failing physical body. When they stopped the rigorous chest compressions and allowed us to say our goodbyes, I put my hand in dad's and said, "I love you, Dad" and that was it. I didn't want to focus any longer on dad being physically dead, but wanted to transition my focus of thoughts to knowing that dad is a spiritual being (as we all are) who continues to live in what we call the afterlife.

LONG DISTANCE COMMUNICATION

I'd like to post a reply to a comment someone left on one of my stories. It was so lovely to receive her comment that it inspired me to reply here:

Hi Suzanne. I hope you are finding comfort in spite of the loss of your father, comfort in knowing he is not really gone. I have no doubt that he definitely has been contacting you. They want to contact us as much as we want to contact them.

The transition of death is something I think about of my loved ones every single day, because I know that one day I will have to experience it. They say that we should tell our loved ones we love them when they are alive while we have the chance because you just never know when you will lose someone. I'd like to add to that that it is also good to practice nonphysical communication while our loved ones are still physically alive. Nonphysical communication is a way to communicate and works long distance whether the receiver is physically living or dead.

I've found that during those times when it's especially difficult to communicate to someone what you are really feeling, or it's hard to find the right words to say, you can do it nonphysically. That is to say, do it mentally. Your conscious intention and the energy of your thoughts will deliver the message.

Once, many years ago, I was feeling depressed both emotionally and physically. I simply wanted someone to comfort me but I didn't know who to reach out to for it. This feeling dragged on for many days to the point where I was feeling so desperate and often tearful. I thought of calling my dad, knowing that if he knew how I felt he'd know exactly what to say to cheer me up. But my dad had so many health issues that it made me feel selfish wanting to call him for my own needs of comfort. So instead of physically calling dad, I did it mentally. I sat on my bed and allowed myself to feel and express all the emotions associated with what I was feeling and thinking. Then I prayed that dad would get my message.

I am not a religious person, but my use of what God means to me is that God is the greater Consciousness of all of us and includes my higher self and all the spiritual guidance and protection I've ever known in this lifetime. Whatever all that is, I call it God. It's a good enough working definition for this physical lifetime's purposes. I figure if there's more for me to know, it'll come. For now, I just use what I know.

So I sat on my bed and mentally said, "God, I'm feeling so depressed and sad and I just want my dad's comfort. But I can't ask him for it. He's not too healthy and I feel selfish asking him to take care of me. I should be calling only to give love and comfort, not ask for it. Will you please send him my love at this moment and let him know that I need him? I know if I call him right now I'll just cry and I don't want to make him feel bad for me. If you get my message to him, I promise that when I am feeling better I will use that opportunity to call and give him love and comfort."

Putting these feelings into words really made the tears flow. I sat there for a moment allowing all this energy to get expressed and released, and it made me feel better. It helped me put things into perspective a little.

Then I got off my bed and walked to the living room to sit at my computer. The phone began ringing before I could even sit down. I answered, and it was my dad. He said, "Vicky, are you ok? Is something wrong?" I lied and said I was fine. He asked me if I was sure I was ok, because he got a very strong feeling that he needed to call me. Dad said, "It was such a strong feeling that I just knew something was wrong with my little girl. So are you sure you're ok?"

It was at that point that I broke down crying. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from Dad. Not even an entire minute passed between sending my mental message to Dad and him calling me on the phone. Through my tears I managed to explain to Dad how desperately I'd wanted to talk to him on the phone and how much I wanted to hear his love and comfort. I told him about my prayer just a minute ago.

By now Dad was crying too. "I got your message Vicky! I got it loud and clear. I was just sitting here at my desk when I heard "You need to call Vicky!" I knew it wasn't just my imagination. I could feel that something was wrong with you. It hit me so strongly I just picked up the phone and called."

We both cried and laughed and felt so thankful for this amazing experience. It was amazing that Dad had received my message within moments of me mentally sending it, and what's even more amazing is that he listened to it! He didn't just brush it off as "only his imagination". He listened. He followed his feelings. It made for an amazing experience that I'll never forget.

So I did get my comforting phone call from my dad after all. And I'm so thankful it happened the way that it did.

I'd like to say to Suzanne, the person who said she's beginning to believe she's received contact from her deceased father...I know he's receiving your thoughts, prayers, feelings, and emotions. I know that there is no boundary or limitation to the energy of our consciousness and thoughts. I know that nonphysical communication works, whether the person is living or deceased.

And when we are the ones on the receiving end of long distance, nonphysical communication we need to be paying attention. We need to listen to it and trust that it is real. It can come in any way or form and any time. It doesn't matter how contact and communication is made, as long as we recognize it. I truly believe that if one method doesn't get through to us, there will be another one sure to follow. A song on the radio, something we hear someone say, something we read. A thought, feeling, or memory. The possibilities are endless. You'll know it when you receive it. Just like my dad did. He said it hit him loud and clear.

So in whatever way you believe you are receiving a message, just trust and believe in it. Your emotions will tell you what is real to you and what feels right.

Thanks for listening, Dad.

HEMI-SYNC AND OBES

A few weekends ago I had the opportunity to attend a TMI get-together hosted by my friend Matthew in Boulder, Colorado. He's an outreach trainer for The Monroe Institute http://www.monroeinstitute.org/ and was giving a free hemi-sync session at his house. It's a fun way to indulge in the group energy of those of us coming together with the same intent of exploring.

I drove up with Rob--one of my friends who's been to TMI several times--and after everyone arrived there were 12 of us including Matthew and his wife Janet. We sat in the family room getting acquainted and sharing a little about what we know of TMI and hemi-sync technology and other related topics.

When we got ready to begin the first session, we broke into pairs to each share an MP3 player that Matthew had pre-programmed with the hemi-sync tape he wanted us to hear. We all scattered around the house to find our own spots and set out our comforters and pillows to get ready for the session. The tape we listened to is called Metamusic, this one named "Higher" and is very relaxing music with hemi-sync. This effect alters your brain waves, and I believe that typically hemi-sync works to give you the theta brainwave state, although I don't know this specifically. All I know for certain is what I know from my old days of experimentation with the Theta state and the quick effects it has on producing out-of-body experiences.

After getting comfy, it wasn't long before my partner James was breathing heavy and then snoring. I wondered how long it would be before I became that relaxed as well, but I knew that it's very easy to fall physically asleep without even realizing it. So far, though, I hadn't heard myself snoring so I wasn't yet as physically relaxed as I wanted to be. I mentally set my intent for something specific I wanted to experience during this session--a question I had in mind because of a recent OBE I had had the week before. It had been one of those "high" OBEs, what I have come to call a spiritual OBE in order to differentiate it from the more common classic-type out-of-body experiences I normally have. These spiritual ones have been ongoing for me over the years and seem to be telling me a story or preparing me for what's to come. I'm obviously still in the process of learning whatever they are all about, which is why I was left with a huge question after this last one. (I've mentioned a few of these OBEs in my book, Persephone's Journey). So my mental intent was to ask specific questions about that experience...Was the message I received really from my higher self, or was it just something that my subconscious mind made up and superimposed into my experience? How can I know for sure? How can I trust it was real?

After a few minutes I didn't hear my partner snoring anymore but was still aware of him lying next to me. What happened next told me I was already under the effects of the hemi-sync. Bruce was suddenly there next to me, tugging at my sleeve. I imagined looking over at him and saw him smiling and excited like a little kid who wanted to go play. "Bruce, I'm busy. I'm trying to do Matthew's workshop. We're listening to hemi-sync right now and I'm trying to have an experience." Bruce didn't seem to care, and he continued to tug and pull at me. I realized it wasn't really Bruce, not physical Bruce. This was nonphysical Bruce. "C'mon Vicky," he said. "Let's go have some fun." Just in case I was making all this up, I wasn't treating this experience as a true altered state of consciousness...yet. (Sometimes it just takes me a little while to figure out what’s really going on).

I wasn't budging. I wanted to remain focused on the Metamusic and give serious effort at exploring. I wanted the hemi-sync effects to take me away. What I didn't realize was that experiencing Bruce tugging at me meant I was already under its effects.

I tried once more to ignore Bruce beside me who I considered might only be just my imagination and not real. But ignoring him didn't make him go away, not for long anyway. Nonphysical Bruce flew out through the family room window and out into Matthew's back yard. He did a flip off the back porch and I thought, Ok, I'm definitely making this up. I need to just concentrate on the tape.

I focused my attention back to the tape, but it wasn't long before Bruce came floating back in and hovered next to me, which would have placed him directly on top of my partner. "Vicky, come on. I could show you some fancy ways to fly. It’ll be fun," Bruce said, tugging on me again. It was now slowly beginning to dawn on me that I wasn't making it up.

My ability to hear the tape came and went between focusing either on the tape or on Bruce. That, combined with how easily I perceived Bruce, was a good indication this was all real. Wait a sec, I thought. When I sent away the impression of Bruce before, which I thought was just imaginary and not real, he flew away. And now he’s back. Maybe this is real. Maybe I should just go along with this and see what happens. By trying so hard to have a nonphysical exploration experience, I didn't recognize I was already having one, until the idea came to me to just go along with whatever I was experiencing. Bruce's spirit was really actually trying to help and I hadn’t realized it until now. Now I realized that if I only focused on lying there waiting for something real to happen, then all I would experience is waiting for something to happen.

So I finally gave in and said "okay" to Bruce and nonphysically gave him my hand. I instantly floated out of my body and we flew away. I remembered nothing of our flying experience and what seemed only moments later, I found myself back in my body still lying there listening to the music. One little bit of confirmation of these types of nonphysical experiences is that while they are taking place, I'm not able to physically hear the music playing. Once back in my body, however, the sounds of the type are right there again. I smiled to myself, telling myself I'd have to remember to let Bruce know of his silly antics today. That is, let physical Bruce know, despite the fact that he'd have no memory of it.

Much to my surprise, my finally trusting the experience of Bruce as real must have blown my nonphysical perception wide open. Without any notice at all, I was now much deeper than I realized because a moment later Matthew walked up to me and knelt down in front of me. It was very awkward indeed, and I realized he was pretty much kneeling over my face. "Matthew! What are you doing? You're in my face!" This was weird. It looked like he was actually kneeling on my chest, yet I didn't feel a thing.

"It's ok. I'm making adjustments to your headset," he told me. It didn't make sense Matthew would actually be bothering me this way and it certainly was impossible for him to be physically kneeling over me like that. I realized this was nonphysical Matthew just as I’d experienced nonphysical Bruce a few moments ago. My perception, though, was now as clear and real-looking as that of physical-reality seeing. I must be out of body, cool! I'll just wait and see what this leads to, I thought to myself. I definitely wanted to continue trusting my experience and open up my nonphysical perception even more.

After nonphysical Matthew was finished making his necessary adjustments, he suddenly disappeared and the next thing I knew his wife Janet walked over to where I was lying on the floor. She quickly came around to my right side, reached down, and yanked my comforter out from under me in one quick swoop.

Hey! That's my blanket! I wonder what she did that for. She knows I was lying on it, I thought to myself, at first believing it was physically happening but then realizing it was all nonphysical. Because of the previous two experiences with nonphysical Bruce and nonphysical Matthew, I realized quickly that this was nonphysical Janet. Obviously they were all playing a role in inducing some kind of experience for me. I went along with it, knowing this had to have something to do with answering my questions I asked at the beginning while setting my intention.

Janet shook my blanket up into the air, the way all of us moms do when we're tucking our kids into bed. Because of my intention to just go along with whatever I experience, I continued to watch to see what was going to happen next. I fully expected my blanket to come gliding down on top of me, and while waiting I had that excited feeling my kids must feel when I do this to them. Even at the age they are now, 12 and 13, each of my kids still loves to feel silly this way, still asking me once in a while to shake the blanket into the air over the bed. As I watched, though, my blanket didn't come down. Janet held onto it as it slowly began to continue floating upward and out of her hands. By instinct I thought, My blanket! and I felt myself reach up into the air to grab it. Again I floated up out of my body.

This trick by nonphysical Janet had been a good one. It worked. Although I still felt as if I were lying on the floor, I instantly knew I was nonphysical Me. Not being able to hear the hemi-sync tape again was another indication that I was indeed under the full effects of it. A moment later something very heavy landed on my lap. I felt it plop onto me with a thud. I knew it had to be something nonphysical, and my instinctive reaction was to sit up and see what it was. I felt myself sit upright and look down into my lap, but I couldn't see my physical body. Oh yeah, I'm out of body. This is a nonphysical experience, I thought to myself. (I’m so used to using my physical instincts that I can sometimes easily forget that I’m out of body).

Laying across my lap was a huge book. I could clearly see the title of it, which read "I Don't Even Need To Know The Facts". I realized this was in direct answer to my questions I posed in my intent to know more about last week's spiritual OBE message I'd received. I chuckled to myself when I read the title. I knew exactly what it meant. I knew this book was a gift from my higher self as a way to answer my questions. I found it humorous that my higher self would deliver a message in the form of a book since I'm working on getting a book published. This nonphysical book with its vague title made me realize that I was spending too much focus on asking the wrong questions. I got the distinct feeling at that moment that the message delivered in my spiritual OBE was indeed a real message and that I just needed to trust and have faith. "Don't worry about the details", this book seemed to be telling me. "Focus on trust." This book was huge...a lot to be said about trust!

After the hemi-sync session was over, I felt very satisfied that I indeed had had a real experience and that it definitely answered what I'd set intent for. It's also fun to note that we each nonphysically are there working as guides and helpers to each other. Physically Matthew and his wife weren't aware of their nonphysical actions that helped facilitate my experience, just as Bruce rarely is aware either. But this is the nature of nonphysical exploration. Just another neat little tidbit that I love to point out.

CONTACT FROM A DEAD FRIEND

A dead friend came to visit in an unusual way, making himself known in my awareness by popping into my mind a memory from some twenty years ago. It was the type of memory that you would have no reason to think about unless something triggered it. But I could think of no logical trigger for this particular memory.

The memory spontaneously played in my mind's eye as if I were watching a recorded silent video version of it, all from the same visual perspective of the eyes of my 17-year-old self. As I watched the replay I remembered the moment as clearly as if it had just actually taken place. It made me laugh at myself, remembering my impulsive youthfulness that sometimes got mistaken for arrogance I suppose. I was having fun, being as spontaneous as this odd flashback of a memory.

At the time of the flashback, I didn't consider it a visit, just a memory. I didn't realize it was a direct answer to the intent I’d set in requesting Guidance to help me learn to make contact with the deceased. After all, I had no reason to think this friend from my past was dead.

The next day I happened to be browsing a website for my upcoming 20th high school reunion and the announcement section caught my eye. His name was there, listed as deceased…the friend from the spontaneous memory the day before. I couldn’t believe it. Could the spontaneous memory flashback have anything to do with him consciously deciding to contact me from the other side?

I sat there thinking hard about what I was doing in the moments just before the odd memory flashback had popped into my head. And I remembered that I was sitting at my desk, browsing Bruce’s website, http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/, and had read his response to a question about the use of a Quija Board for contacting your spirit guide. That conversation got me thinking about my wanting to contact my own spirit guides. (I already obviously believed in such contact because of my many previous experiences).

So I closed my eyes, took some deep relaxing breaths, and I set the intent that I'd like to have my Guidance help facilitate my practice at learning after-death communication. I asked Guidance to give me an experience where I'm in contact with a deceased person and to help me learn to recognize such an experience when it happens.

Now that I realized the odd memory flashback had occurred right after I set that intent, I was excited that I had gotten a direct experience that was exactly what I'd asked for. But I was disappointed in myself that I had failed to recognize it for what it was.

My friend Bruce tells me all the time, "Vicky, you need to pay attention to the very next thing that comes into your awareness, no matter what it is, even if it doesn't seem to fit or make sense. It will almost always be in direct response to what you were just thinking, asking, or intending."

Because I failed to recognize this after-death contact at the moment it happened, I wanted to find a way to verify that it was indeed genuine contact. Then I got an idea. I'd ask a test question, whose answer must prove that this sequence of events had indeed been a tailored experience and was indeed conscious contact from a dead friend. So I relaxed, set intent, and spoke to my Guidance again. This time I said, "Can you please show me something that proves to me the contact from this deceased person was real?" I waited but seemingly nothing happened. Well, as I've been learning, something did happen, I just failed to notice it…again.

In the most splendidly orchestrated way, the next thing that actually popped into my awareness was—not so ironically—another spontaneous memory of another friend from long ago. This memory, however, went back much farther than some twenty years. This memory went back all the way to the first grade. That would have made me around 7. That would place this memory back in time about thirty years. I knew instantly that there was no other logical trigger for this memory. The sequence of events played perfectly in my mind's eye, forcing me to relive a moment of my life from way back when.

Again, I failed to see this second spontaneous memory as an answer to the question I had just posed to my Guidance. I also made the mistake of not seeing this memory as a connection to the previous experience. Although they were very similar odd experiences, I wasn't aware of what was in store for me.

The realization of the connection, however, came a few hours later that day when I received an email from a woman who was the girl in my memory from first grade. Her email gave her phone number, and when I called she said she'd been thinking of me for a while, wanting to find a way to contact me. Finally she found my email address because of the high school reunion website. It had indeed been many years since we'd been in contact.

Well, if that isn’t a direct answer then I don’t know what is. The odds were way beyond mere coincidence. A memory of her popping into my mind just hours before she contacted me was not something I'd brush off as mere coincidence. It was a definite sign from my Guidance, letting me know in a very clear way that my experience of having the thought or memory of someone popping into my awareness was an indication of that person’s intention of contacting me.

Obviously with these two identical experiences, it didn't matter whether the person was dead or alive. Because I had no real way of confirming the first contact with the person now known to be deceased, I couldn't verify that he was actually intending contact with me. But because the second, living person could verify her desire to contact me, it gave me enough verification to trust this type of experience as an indicator of conscious contact.

Bruce is right. When there is something that comes into your awareness immediately after placing an intent, you can almost always count on it being in direct answer to what you were just thinking, feeling, asking, or intending. Our Guidance does this for us. And the way we perceive and receive information coming into our awareness is a filtration process that comes to our conscious minds in a way which we can recognize. Paying attention to this process is key.

I’ve noticed this throughout my life. And I'm sure many people have too, but we always tend to call it coincidence. You think of someone you haven't seen or talked to in a long time. Then suddenly the phone rings, and it’s them. What a coincidence, we say.

Dead or alive, we're all connected that way. Our thoughts and intentions really are powerful things.

THE PSYCHIC PARADOX

This entry is long overdue. For some reason I’ve been holding onto this one and wanting to re-write it before I add it to my blog. It happened in June and so I’m just now getting around to re-writing this, cutting out all the extra blah blah blah that I do. I know I over-analyze things to death. Everyone tells me so. They also tell me I’m intense. I over-think things. I worry too much. And that I just need to accept things, and not ask so many questions all the time. That pretty much sums up what all my blah blah blah was about in my original version of this story. So here, hopefully, is the shorter version. We’ll see.

Basically what I’ve learned the most from this experience is that if I don’t pay attention, I miss things. Obviously that’s true, but most of the time our daily lives don’t require paying much attention to little details. We get by just fine. But there’s a lot to be delved into with those details. A lot of interesting stuff. Well, what I consider interesting, that is. But then again, I’m an intense over-thinker who analyzes things to death and asks too many questions, and blah blah blah. Ok, until I get a better handle on how all this psychic stuff works, I’m going to continue analyzing it. I can’t help it.

My daughter Abigail had spent the night at a friend’s house, and the next day on my way home from work I planned to come get her. The friend’s mother had moved to a new place, so I was faced with another round of asking for directions. I always hate going to a new place because I hate getting directions. It was a town home complex which meant a parking lot with all its entryways, turns, dead-ends, carports, speed bumps...Oh joy. Here I was on my cell phone taking in all of Abby’s directions, knowing that asking her to put the mother on the phone wouldn’t have made much more of a difference. I pictured all the lefts and rights and speed bumps and landmarks in my head as Abby relayed them, and I figured I’d at least get pretty close to the right town home. If need be, I’d call her again once I got in the general vicinity.

I was doing fine until I reached the final “left” or “right”. I couldn’t remember which one it was and I stopped the car and tried to think, replaying Abby’s directions in my head. As I sat there with the car idling, my eyes fell onto the DIRECTV truck parked directly in front of me. I was at a T and could go either to my left or right. I knew that the DIRECTV truck catching my attention meant something, as some kind of marker in helping me find Abby, although she hadn’t mentioned the truck in her directions and it wasn’t parked in front of a town home. But I felt strongly that it was a marker. I guess if I had to gauge it, I’d say it was a little bit more to the left of me than it was the right, and so I chose to turn left, sort of unconsciously deciding that that’s what the truck meant. Since no other psychic feelings were coming to mind, I didn’t give it more thought. I turned left and rounded the corner and pulled up in front of a row of town homes. I phoned Abby’s cell.

“Ok, I’m here. I’m out front, can you see me?” Abby said she was getting her stuff and heading toward the front door. When she opened it, she couldn’t see me. Since it was 5:15 pm, I asked Abby what she could see out the front door and if she was facing the sun. She said no, no sun, but she was facing a bridge. Once she said that, I realized I was completely on the opposite side of the parking lot. Somewhere along the line I had messed up on one of my rights and lefts.

Now looking back on this, if I had paid more attention to the DIRECTV truck and the fact that my attention was strongly drawn to it as a marker to find Abby, I could have gone back to that spot and taken a right instead. But since the moment had passed, this logic had escaped me. I instead drove the car around trying to come out to what I thought was the entrance to retrace my steps, but came to a dead-end instead. Abby was still on the phone with me. “Mom, I’m outside. I still don’t see you yet. I see a DIRECTV truck, does that help?”

I couldn’t believe she said that. “Yes Abs, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ll be there in a second.” Somehow, that DIRECTV truck did come in handy after all. I don’t know how or why, but 5 minutes earlier, before Abby had thought of the clever indication of the truck, I had picked up on the significance of the truck as being a marker. It’s as though I had reached into the future by 5 minutes and pulled back Abby’s thought of the truck helping direct me to her. Funny that the name was Direct, as in “direction”, although at the time I perceived the truck as being a key piece of information in finding Abby, I didn’t quite get enough information for it to prevent me from getting all my directions tangled up and causing me to drive in circles and hitting dead ends.

I say this again, and I always say this, that the more I recognize these psychic instances, the more I need to open the flow of allowing more information to come through. Maybe I can construct a set of questions to ask in an instance such as this. Perhaps something like, “Why is this standing out to me? I know it means something, but what?” Maybe if I listen and am a little patient, I’ll get more information. I’ll have to do a thought experiment and some practice to get acquainted with a process that I can easily remember and implement.

Ok, so I was able to easily drive back to where the DIRECTV truck was parked and expected to see Abby but once I got there, no Abby. I wondered why she’d use the truck as a marker when she was really no where near the truck at all. Now this was getting more confusing. Realizing I was still on the phone with her, I told her I was right in front of the truck but didn’t see her. She said, “Well I’m not anywhere near the truck, but I can see it in the distance and just figured it was a marker that you could easily find.” Wow, she was right. In fact I got that message 5 minutes ago! I just hadn’t had a way to really put the information into action for me. But like I said earlier, if I had realized that turning left at the truck was wrong, I could have then gone back to the truck and taken a right. (Looking back at that layout, it seems I would have actually reached Abby before she would have had any chance at coming up with the indication of using the truck as a marker for me. After all, she was still inside her friend’s house when I phoned her the first time. Her thought of telling me about the truck hadn’t reached her mind yet when I first saw the truck. If I had realized I needed to turn “right” at the truck since “left” was wrong, I would have driven right up to where she was before needing to get more directions from her. And actually now that I think about that, if that had been the case, then I probably would not have discovered how the DIRECTV truck had grabbed my attention. Without Abby needing a reason to use the truck as a marker, I never would have made the connection).

So I turned right and followed a line of homes and finally found Abby and her friend waving at me at the end of the block. When I pulled up to her, I asked why she thought of pointing out the truck. She said, “Well, it was the furthest thing I could see from where I was standing. It stood out. I figured you didn’t know which way to turn. Remember when you asked me if I could see the sun? I couldn’t see the sun but I could see a bridge. The bridge is over there.” She pointed. She was right. Her line of thinking was good logic, and the DIRECTV truck had come in handy. But it had all come to me too soon and didn’t make sense at the time.

If I had realized I needed to turn right at the truck and had reached her before she mentioned it, would I still have received the psychic information of the truck being a marker? Obviously yes, or I wouldn’t have thought of turning right at the truck the second time around. It’s one of those conundrums that’s so fun to think about. It’s kind of like asking, what came first? My psychic reception that Abby would have a future thought of using the truck as a marker? Or Abby’s need to use the truck as a marker? Obviously it sounds logical to deduce that if my psychic link was to Abby’s future thought, and I interceded it and thus eliminated the need for her to have that thought, then how could I have picked up on a thought that didn’t exist? It seems to be saying that Abby’s need to give me more directions along with her thought of using the truck as a marker were things that were going to happen anyway. Is this a correct line of logic? Is there anything logical about trying to figure out how psychic stuff works? Maybe not, but it is fun to ponder.

Oh, so when I said I learned from this experience the need to pay more attention to things, what I also learned is that I need to remember that the next time something stands out to me as meaning something, I will immediately deduce that it has everything to do with exactly what I’m dealing with at the moment. No more of this, “Oh that seems to mean something but I don’t know what. Oh well.” Next time something like this happens, I’m going to find the shortest, straightest line between the two things. As usually is the case in life, things are generally pretty simple and straight forward. We, however, tend to make them complicated.

Why I didn’t get the feeling of “turn right” while my eyes set upon the DIRECTV truck, I don’t know. That feeling never came to me. That’s why I think this was simply a case of me pre-perceiving Abby’s future thought. In her directions, she didn’t say to turn right at the truck, only that she could see it. The bridge didn’t come into play until I had already turned left (wrong) and called and asked her what she could see out the front door. It would have been greatly impressive if my psychic thought about the truck being a marker would have included “turn right, and she’s in front of the bridge”. Like I said, maybe next time if I have the presence of mind and the patience, I can fish for more psychic impressions and see what I get. As I analyze this right now, I realize that getting all that extra information is not entirely impossible. It would seem improbable because then I would have found Abby before asking her what she sees out the front door and before her telling me about the bridge and the truck. But an improbability is not an impossibility. And now that I think about how many times I’ve had psychic impressions of things without having a clue why I had them, I see now how our choices in life can help us to skip over some time-consuming efforts. So perhaps it is simply safe to say that my getting a little lost and tangled up in my directions was one possible outcome, but not the only possible outcome. Perhaps I had picked up on the information from one probable reality line, which happened to be the one I actually went down and so therefore was able to see why I got the psychic impression that I did. However, if I had made different choices, thus skipping over getting a little lost and thus reaching Abby before those indications of information could be played out, I would have skipped over that set of events and gone down a slightly different reality line, one just as likely probable as the actual one. I would have reached Abby before she had a need to mention the truck and therefore I would not know why the truck stood out to me.

Ooh this conundrum stuff is fun, isn’t it? Ok, so here’s the thing. The next time I have some psychic episode such as this, I’m going to do my best to find the “skip-over” probability reality line and see if things don’t work out much more easily and smoothly, seemingly remarkable. I won’t have the satisfaction of being able to analyze the line of events as I’ve done this time around, but it will be a giant quantum leap in my psychic development.

You can add “very impatient” to the list up above. Yes, I’m very impatient. I hate inefficiency. There’s got to be a reason and a better way for me to utilize my psychic abilities, and I’m determined to find out what they are. I kind of feel like with every revelation, I’m graduating to a new level of awareness. Why things can’t just be simpler for me, I don’t know. I guess it’s all a matter of our thoughts and choices. I’ll need to definitely add patience to my to-do list though. I’m sure that with patience comes grace, and through grace comes those awesome and amazing experiences that have no explanation. Ah, now I can see why I need to stop analyzing so much and worrying about details. I need to get over the whys and hows and just accept what’s before me instead of trying to over-think it.

Wow, I think I just solved my own conundrum.

DISCOVERED A ROBIN'S NEST

I borrowed mom’s yard clippers so that I could trim down a bush outside my back door that was starting to grow over the patio. Almost immediately after I began clipping, a robin flew out of the bush and onto the fence, squawking up a storm. I thought for a second I’d accidentally clipped her. She chirped and squawked and jumped up and down on the fence. She seemed fine except for her obvious agitation as I continued to clip away. A few small branches later I could see why she was going nuts. There was a bird’s nest in the middle of the bush, just a little bit above my eye level. I stopped my trimming and got the stepladder. There were 4 little pretty blue eggs.

It’s hard to see the nest. It’s in the middle just almost even with the fence line.

I noticed, though, that if you click on the photo, it will enlarge it. The detail of some of the following photos is outstanding, so please enlarge them to get a better look...the closed eyes of the babies, the expression on the parents' faces, etc. (Use the Back button afterward to come back).



I stood inside the doorway to the garage and watched and waited for the momma bird to come back to the nest, and she did.

Over the next week and a half I watched each day. After a couple days I noticed the daddy bird. He came and went. While there he kept watch over her and the nest. He chased off the black birds who seemed to purposely come around to cause trouble. Here you can barely see the momma sitting in the nest. Daddy is to the right of the photo in the tree.

After a week and a half the babies hatched, but only three. I couldn’t believe how big they were and how wide they could open their mouths. They were so cute!

Here’s the momma with a worm.

I was surprised to see that both momma and daddy take turns feeding them.

I noticed how long they’d have to be gone, flying out of the yard before returning with food, so I turned on the sprinkler hoping it would help give them a better chance to find worms in my yard. The daddy bird immediately swooped down into the yard and sat under the sprinkles that were gently raining down over him and he hopped around the wet grass for several minutes. I couldn’t tell if he was looking for worms or just enjoying the water! By now both momma and daddy seemed to trust us.

Here’s proud momma watching her babies.

During the next couple weeks the baby robins grew fast. In no time they were opening their eyes, and then soon covered with feathers. The nest was becoming crowded.

One night a huge downpour came, with lightning and thunder, for a good hour or so. I went out to check on the nest, not sure what I’d find. I was sorry I’d clipped away branches, but realized I hadn’t actually clipped from the top, just the sides. It seems they did have at least a pretty good covering from the branches above.

The momma bird was obviously doing what she could to protect her little ones. Here she is, seemingly fanning her wings and puffing herself out, to cover the nest as much as possible. She stood motionless throughout the storm, never leaving her babies.

As soon as it passed, she made a dash for the far fence, and I found her shaking her feathers out and cleaning herself up.

The babies in the nest were a little wet but curiously peeking out.

Each day I still kept an eye on the nest, hoping I’d get to see the day those three little birds flew away. But I missed it. It happened on a Sunday while I was at work. I phoned home and suggested to Abby that she go check on the nest. She stepped out the back door and said, “Oh my gosh! Two of the babies just flew out of the nest!” I was so happy that at least my daughter got to see this event. It was amazing that I'd phoned her at just that moment. She said the two baby birds fluttered down to the ground and hopped around, with momma bird watching nearby. Soon they were able to take off. My daughter thinks they went to the huge tree in the far corner of the yard.

When I got home, the last little bird was left alone in the nest. I hoped to God someone would come back for him, and they did. I missed his leaving as well because by the next morning he too was gone.