Thursday, February 4, 2010

CONTACT FROM MY DAD

My dad passed away two weeks ago. He’d been very sick for many years and lucky to have lived so long with such illness as congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, severe peripheral neuropathy, diabetes, and other problems. Each day since his death I'd been waiting for and expecting to feel his presence or see some sign of him trying to contact me in some way. My dad's belief in his physical life was that contact between the physical world and the other side wasn't right. It's not that he didn't believe it was possible, it's that he just didn't think it was right. It brought up a lot of questions in me. Now that dad's on the other side, would his belief prevent him from contacting me at all? Would his belief have changed now that he's on the other side?

Each day since his death I'd been sending my thoughts to him, of love, memories, and of letting him know I want to know how he's doing. It's my belief he's receiving my messages, but another question came up…is he ignoring my request for contact because of religious beliefs he held during his lifetime? Granted I had no idea what kind of message, sign, or contact dad would make...showing me a physical sign, hearing his voice in the white noise of a phone call, feeling his presence, or seeing him in a dream....but I figured he'd do something to answer my request for contact. It was never a question of mine whether he still existed somewhere or even if he was receiving my thoughts to him.

Then my next question was, when Dad receives my messages and loving thoughts, is it possible this would convince him it's okay to make contact? My only desire was to have some form of contact that, in whatever way, was a confirmation to me that it was indeed contact with him and a reassurance that he was doing fine. Because of my own belief and wide variety of experiences, I was open to anything. To me, it was only a matter of when.

Over the weekend as it was approaching a couple weeks since his passing, I was getting a little impatient. I figured by now I should have received something. I decided to give another try at making a serious effort to get my request through. I was at work, sitting in my chair at my desk. I closed my eyes and took some relaxing deep breaths. I directed my thoughts to my Higher Self and said in my mind, I'm setting intent for contact with my dad. The first part of my intent is that my messages and thoughts to Dad get sent to him, and the second part is that I receive, in some way, some contact from my dad in whatever way he feels comfortable and in whatever way I can perceive. And I reminded myself that this is the beginning of a process and I accepted that it will unfold in whatever manner and time it takes. (I hoped this last part would take the pressure off of any expectations I had that could block my perception).

Stating my intent didn't take long, maybe a minute or two. Instantly in complete surprise, I found myself on a ship sailing in the ocean. There was nothing to notice about the transition…it just went from one moment to the next. I was completely aware that I had just been sitting in my chair at work and setting an intent to my Higher Self, and yet I also felt completely realistically standing on a large, old-time ocean liner and looking out over the railing into the rushing waves.

I consciously decided to allow myself to go along with this scene to see where it led, and the more I relaxed, the more fully immersed into the scene I became. Soon I felt out of body like a point of consciousness, completely disconnected from my physical surroundings of just a moment ago. As I looked out over the railing and into the ocean, I saw the ocean waves, saw that we were moving, and saw that I had my back to the front of the ship and could not see where we were headed, only where we'd been.

Standing next to me on my left, someone dressed as the ship's Captain made his presence known by thought, letting me know he's received my messages and request. It was at that moment that I realized my intent to speak to my Higher Self had been delivered, and that this scene must be a symbolic representation of that process. My Higher Self dressed as Captain crossed in front of me and passed through a door on my right, and I could see him walk up a small flight of stairs, accompanied by someone else. I wondered where he was going and instinctively understood he was going up top to steer the ship to the destination I'd set intent for. I wanted to go too but felt that it wasn't my place to do so. The feeling I received told me that my role was only to go along for the ride. So this must be how it works, I thought. I am responsible for setting my intent, and then the rest gets taken care of. I don't even need to figure out how I get there but just go along for the ride.

Someone dressed in a sailor's uniform, accompanied by someone else, came out through the door and as he passed in front of me heading for the railing that overlooked the ocean he said to his companion, "But how will I know it works? Will I remember? How will I recognize him?" The person accompanying him reassured him that feeling doubt was normal but not to worry about that as long as he took responsibility for his part in the process. This seems to represent an aspect of myself that worries if I'll be able to feel the connection to my Higher Self the next time I want to set intention for something, I thought. Watching this whole scene in this way reassured me of the role that I play in this process.

I started to come back to normal waking consciousness and was able to remember the entire experience. Since this experience showed me how the process of placing intent works, I knew that I’d be soon having some contact with my dad.



Hours later while still at work and taking another break, I sat at my desk and closed my eyes to relax. I found myself suddenly standing inside my parents’ house. I was out of body again but wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t have the split awareness between the OBE and physical reality that I’d had in my previous experience while on the ship. I also wasn’t aware that just moments ago I was sitting at my desk at work.

As I stood inside my parents’ house I realized I could hear my dad speaking. It was such a joy to hear his voice again and hear his laughter. He was obviously in a very happy mood and enjoying himself. As I listened I could tell he was doing what he loved best…talking about God and relating stories from The Bible. My dad loved writing sermons. Hearing Dad this way was something I haven’t heard in many years. Dad sounded so young, vibrant, and alive…and especially happy. I was so relieved to hear and feel him this way. I knew Dad must have been feeling wonderful. Dad’s words flowed fluidly into each other without pause or space in between them, yet I could understand everything he said. It was as if hours of speaking only took mere seconds.

I wanted to go to him and wondered where he was. It sounded like he was high above me and it made me wonder maybe Dad is just upstairs in his room? But as soon as I thought that, I got the feeling I wasn’t able to go to where he was but was only receiving a message from Dad to let me know how he was doing. Oh. He must not actually be here in the house, but I just hear him. How am I able to hear my dad if he’s not really here? I asked myself.

Then I thought, he’s back! Dad’s back to his old self. I could tell just by listening to how happy he sounded that my dad was back to his old self, and that he was no longer suffering from all the illness and ailments of his physical body. That realization made me wonder, but Dad used to be so sick. Now he’s back to his old healthy, young self again. I haven’t heard Dad so happy in such a long time. By now I was a little confused, and it was at this point that I began to come back to normal waking consciousness very slowly. As I became more consciously focused in physical reality, I lost the feeling of being in my parents’ house, and along with it I was losing memory very quickly. The only thought in my mind that remained was hearing myself think “he’s back” and feeling my dad’s presence.

He’s back? I asked myself. He’s back alive again? I still wasn’t quite all the way back to normal waking consciousness as I began trying to analyze this. I thought that “he’s back” meant my dad had somehow been brought back to life. This obviously made no sense and I felt very confused. Then suddenly I remembered having seen my dad’s dead body in the ER and I knew it was not possible for him to be back alive again.

As I began to more fully come back to normal waking consciousness I thought about what I could have possibly meant by thinking the words “he’s back”.

Suddenly full memory of my OBE at my parents’ house came back into my awareness. I could remember everything…hearing dad’s voice, and hearing how happy, healthy, and young he sounded. It was amazing that from one moment to the next I could so easily forget everything that had just happened. But just by wondering what those words meant to me brought back full memory of the experience into my conscious awareness.

I indeed finally got my contact experience with my dad, and this experience showed me that Dad was back to his old self again, feeling young, happy, and enjoying himself. It felt so good to experience him this way and to know he is doing well on the other side. And although this wasn’t the type of contact experience I’d been expecting or hoping for, I feel the unexpectedness of it makes it all the more genuine. I am so thankful for it.

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