CONFESSIONS OF A DIABETIC

I'm not sure who actually reads my blog. I know my kids don't. They haven't even read my book, just skimmed it looking for the parts where I mentioned them. I have something to confess because this was just so bad, and tonight I realized how bad it was. If anybody I know reads this, go ahead and let me know. It will be a good reminder of what not to do.

A couple days before Christmas a friend of mine stopped by to drop off a little plate of fudge. The kids left Christmas Eve to spend the night with their dad for an early Christmas morning flight to Florida for a week. That fudge was just too tempting. She had cut it into very small squares and I figured it would be ok to enjoy a little each night, but I admit I knew that I shouldn't be enjoying such a sweet treat. After a few days I realized there were only three pieces left, and what if the kids wanted some when they got back? Maybe they wouldn't have remembered, or maybe they wouldn't have cared. But I decided to replace it. I'd just make up my own batch, cut them into little squares and fill the little plate again.

I scoured the Internet for fudge recipes. Do you know how many different recipes for fudge there are? I had no idea what ingredients my friend put into hers. I'm not a baker so baking ingredients, amounts, and what can be substituted for what go way over my head. I picked out an easy-looking one, and actually I think it was called Easy Fudge. Milk chocolate chips, butter, condensed milk, and walnuts. I was impressed it even set up. But it didn't taste like fudge at all. Tasted like a chocolate bar. And the consistency was a little weird. If they sat out on the counter too long they began to melt. So I perused the Internet once again. I found one that seemed a bit more reasonable. Powdered sugar, cocoa, milk, vanilla, and nuts. It's been in my fridge for two days and it's still runny. Tastes ok, but you have to eat it with a spoon.

Ok, so I had to call my friend. I complimented her on the fudge and asked if I could have the recipe. "Oh sure, I bet your kids loved it huh. It's not for you though. Way too much sugar in it. I hope you didn't eat any."

"Yep," I lied.

She told me she wasn't sure what went into it without looking at the recipe. It was her mom's, she said. "Mom has this exact way she does it and you have to really follow the directions." She gave me explicit instructions such as how to heat it slowly, stir constantly, etc. "You don't want to scorch it and you don't want it to come out grainy." The next day she emailed me the recipe. I'm not sure what grainy means when you have 6 cups of sugar in there already.

My God, she wasn't kidding, it was sweet. I shouldn't have been eating this stuff! I couldn't believe how much sugar this recipe called for. I followed the instructions to a T. It actually took an hour and a half! I had no idea it took sugar, butter, and mlik so long to boil. And I thought I was never going to get all that marshmellow cream stuff out of the jar. They really need to invent an easier way to do that.

Well, it turned out great but I don't think I'm ever going to make fudge again. That was way too much work. I honestly have more fun mowing the lawn. No wonder I hate baking. It's so much work! All that stirring and scraping, and then everything is sticky, ugh! I found marshmellow cream on my cupboard door, the stove handle, and places I didn't even go near. It's fun making a pot of chili, and way less messy. Fudge is just unfun.

So the fudge is cooling in the fridge, and the kids don't get home until tomorrow afternoon. I should be able to get it cut into those tiny little squares and refill the little decorative Christmas plate my friend brought over. I'll just tell the kids I wanted to make more, which wouldn't be a lie. But this is definitely the last time I make fudge, and the last time I eat it! After seeing what all goes into it, I can't with a good conscience allow myself to indulge in that stuff ever again.

By the way, her mom's secret recipe? It's right on the back of the marshmallow cream jar. Same as the back of the evaporated milk can too. Only difference was she had doubled it. Thanks to my thinking I could get away with eating some fudge and then simply replacing it, I now have three pounds of it to get rid of. If my kids don't want it, I'll have to just bring it to work or something, but I'm not touching that stuff again.

Oh, and my mom did that to me once too. All my growing up years I raved about her potato salad, how it was the best I'd ever tasted. She always smiled and said thank you, appreciating all the compliments. When I got married I told my husband how good my mom's potato salad was and that he just HAD to try it. Finally one day after I don't know how many years of being married, I begged Mom for her home made potato salad recipe. I told her she might as well teach me how to make it while she was still alive. No need to take the secret to her grave! She was surprised that I thought she'd been holding out on me til the day she died or something. She said, "Well it's just on the back of the Kraft Mayonnaise jar."