On a TV show on the biography channel called "The Unexplained", they were showing accounts of haunted houses that families lived in and really believe they're haunted. Of course they had to also show scientists who were giving their professional opinions as to why these houses could not possibly be haunted because such things don't really exist. From what I now know of my OWN experiences and what I've come to believe from all my years of studying, these people who claim to scientifically disprove ghosts and the afterlife clearly haven't had their own direct experience with any such event. Yet they claim to be experts based on science that isn't capable of proving the paranormal real.
I believe in and trust science just as much as the next person, but what we're talking about here requires a different type of logic, evidence, and proof.
For instance, one of the stories that was really intriguing was that a man committed suicide in a house and was haunting the new owners. A man was called in to investigate, who was sensitive to feeling, sensing, and communicating with spirits. He was able to locate the deceased spirit and convince him that crossing over into the afterlife was where he needed to be and that he needn't fear judgement for his sins during his physical life. It took some patience and persistence but the man decided to cross over. The medium and the husband and wife owners of the house all witnessed a brilliant blue light of energy at this moment that they couldn't explain by physical-world means. They were video recording the entire event, but upon reviewing the tape they found that the blue energy light was not on the recording. The medium believed that it wasn't meant to be for all to see, that that magnificent event was only meant to be for the 3 people who saw it first-hand. I tend to agree with him, but only a little bit.
Now, the professional scientist skeptics said that the three people in attendance had all created this event from their imaginations, which is why the blue energy did not appear on film. I agree with him a little bit too, except for the fact that he doesn't believe ghosts and such experiences to be real.
But here's what I know. Taking into account that this is a true story, I believe that what those people saw was real and that they did see it with their imaginations. That is to say, the way they perceived it wasn't the same way we perceive a physical event. What they witnessed was a nonphysical experience, not a physical one, and they perceived it nonphysically. This is my explanation as to why it didn't appear on the video. Not everything that is real has to be physically real. There is such a thing as nonphysical perception. Even with all my experience, it's taken me a long time to wrap my head around this concept, but it's true. It's not a cop-out answer for being unable to gather and provide physical-world proof to those folks who say that "if you can't show and prove it to me, then it isn't real."
To those folks I say that they haven't themselves had nor been aware of having an experience of perceiving nonphysically. If they did, and if they allowed it into their awareness, and if from that experience they were able to gather and verify some piece of information that they could not have any other "normal" physical-sense means of perceiving, then they would begin to have an idea of the concept of nonphysical perception. And I would like to challenge them to finding a way to prove it in the same way we prove physical-world events through physical sense means. I bet they'd have a hard time choosing between their scientific beliefs and what they just experienced first-hand that they cannot possibly prove through their scientific measurements. Just because a scientific piece of equipment couldn't capture and record something, doesn't mean it didn't happen or wasn't real. And even if it did capture it, it's still not enough proof to me of what's real. I need to have my own first-hand experiences before I decide what to believe.
It simply just gets to the point where you have to make a choice. The skeptics who want to believe that science has limitations and boundaries that don't include the paranormal will likely never have their own direct experience with it. The rest of us who have know that the means and methods that they require as proof isn't going to do enough to prove it to them. They will always have some logical explanation to discount what they themselves have not yet experienced.
When my son asked me, "Well if you can perceive nonphysically through using your imagination, then doesn't that mean it's not real?" And I challenged him to a thought experiment. I asked him to use his mind to imagine what his best friend looks like. He did, and I asked if that was a real image or not. He thought it was both real and not real, and I said that was right. I told him that his mind can imagine both. Then I asked him what would it mean to him if he suddenly imagined in his mind seeing his friend falling off the roof and breaking his leg. And then to prove it he called his friend and asked what just happened. If that friend said, "I just fell off the roof and broke my leg!", would that information be real or not? He said it would be real.
My point was to show him that if there's any possible way to experience information that is true or real in any way, through perception that is anything other than your physical senses of perception, even if you couldn't prove it, would you believe that that was a genuine and reliable way to perceive? If you experienced it enough times giving you enough of your own proof, yes you would. Even if you couldn't prove it to anyone else.
This is what my own psychic development project and spiritual journey are about, trying to discover enough about my own nonphysical senses of perception in order to come to conclusions about how it works and what I can learn about it.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A VISIT WITH MY DAD FROM THE AFTERLIFE
My dad visited me in a dream a couple days ago. And I think the way in which he made his presence known to me would be useful for other dreamers to know, since I could have easily not consciously recognized my dad. By "consciously", I mean with the same conscious awareness as I have when I'm consciously awake and aware of my surroundings.
I haven't had an experience with my dad since his death in a long while! I had awoken early, was up for a few minutes, and decided to go back to bed and sleep in. It was a good opportunity to try for an OBE. I used one of my techniques where I notice myself falling closer into sleep and then actively imagine myself getting out of bed and walking out of my bedroom and through each room of my house.
This experience started as a regular dream in which I was visiting Bruce and his wife at their house in Florida. It was like reliving my real vacation there from last year. In that real visit, and in my dream, Bruce wanted some time alone to work in his office and I had wanted to spend time with him. I had no choice but to wait until he was finished. In the real experience, in the meantime his wife Pharon asked me if I wanted to do a puzzle with her to pass the time. We did and I enjoyed that time with her.
However, in my dream of reliving this memory, I was stuck in a state of just waiting for Bruce. The dream didn't continue on to include the part about the puzzle. Literally, all I was doing was waiting for Bruce. I didn't realize that I was dreaming until what happened next.
Suddenly I found myself getting out of bed in my own house. I had no memory of what had just been happening moments earlier. I walked out of my bedroom, out to the hallway (like I had done earlier to initiate an OBE, but at this point I hadn't yet realized I was out of body), and I stood at the top of the stairs looking down just before walking down the stairs. I had heard that someone had just walked into my house and I wanted to see who it was. I was still in the same state of waiting for Bruce, and so that was my expectation. But it wasn't Bruce. Instead, there at the bottom of the stairs, stood my dad. He said, "I'm sorry that I've been so busy in my office. To pass the time, why don't you do a puzzle with your mom." (My dad was playing into my "waiting for Bruce" frame of mind in order to get my attention).
But I was confused. I didn't understand why Dad said that. For a few seconds I just looked at Dad without saying anything. I was trying to make sense out of what he just said. And then it dawned on me. "Just a few moments ago I was at Bruce's house, waiting for him to be finished working in his office. That was when his wife asked me if I wanted to do the puzzle with her to pass the time! But now I'm suddenly at home, and my dad is standing right here in front of me! I had been waiting for Bruce, not Dad, but Dad is here. I had done the puzzle with Pharon, not mom, but my dad is right here mentioning the puzzle. The time I spent with Bruce and his wife was last year, not now. My dad is dead but he's standing right here." At that moment I consciously made the choice to "no longer be waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" because my deceased father was standing right in front of me and I wanted to know more about this. It was becoming apparent to me that waiting for Bruce at his house was becoming less and less real, while seeing my dad standing right in front of me more and more real. So I chose to focus my attention here with Dad instead of continuing to focus on my previous surroundings. I was slowly finally understanding what was really going on. I consciously thought to myself, "That was a dream. But this is real."
It had taken a lot of patience for me to do all that processing, while standing at the top of the stairs looking at my dad. But when this realization hit me, everything became clear. Colors brightened, everything was very vivid. I was consciously aware that just a few moments ago I was dreaming. I was at this point very lucid, having a lucid dream. But it was more than just a dream. I checked again by thinking to myself, "I suddenly went from being at Bruce's house to being home. My dad knew about me waiting and about the puzzle. I know my dad is dead but he is right here. I know this isn't physical reality. And I know I had just been dreaming. Could this too also be just a dream?" I stood there, still processing all of this, while still looking down at my dad. He hadn't moved or changed, but only looked at me, smiling.
I don't know how long I stood there at the top of the stairs processing it all, but as I stood there looking at my dad, he smiled patiently. I suddenly noticed how young and healthy he looked, and it made me remember the other times that he's visited me since his death. Now he looked younger and healthier than he had ever looked in those other experiences. When he spoke before, about the puzzle, he had moved his lips. But now in this more vivid and lucid experience, Dad talked to me through his thoughts.
"Hi Vicky, I'm here to see you," he said. When he said that to me I thought, "Yes, it's a dream, a dream scene, not physical reality, but that's really my dad. I must be having an out-of-body experience." The interpreter overlay was gone. No more need for my dad's spirit to find a way to play a part in the dream reality that I had momentarily been focused in when I was "waiting for Bruce" and his wife was about to ask me to do the puzzle to pass the time. Now that I was consciously aware and had made the choice to turn my focus toward my dad rather than toward the dream reality, everything was so much more clear. I thought, "Oh my God, that's my dad. He's really here!"
I stood there in awe, so happy to see my dad. So happy to consciously realize what was happening. "My dad is here," I thought to myself. "He's really here!" That little girl part of me just wanted my daddy so much. He stood there patiently smiling up at me, allowing me to take it all in.
My emotions overtook me at that moment and I hurried down the stairs and wrapped my arms around my dad's neck, hugged him tight. I remember thinking and feeling that I was so happy to see my dad, so happy that he had come to see me, and so happy to see him so healthy looking. That's all I could think and feel at that moment, just surprise and joy at seeing my dad again.
And then suddenly I awoke.
The realness and vividness of this experience, along with my very clear and lucid conscious awareness proved to me that this visit from my dad was real. No doubt about it in my mind. He had found a way to become part of my reality in order to allow me to really notice consciously that he was really there. He took the opportunity of me being in a state of "waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" as a means to make his way into my awareness in a way that I would notice him consciously.
That one little window of opportunity could have been missed by me, if I hadn't consciously paid attention to the "flaw" in my current reality. Once I was consciously aware of the flaws and incongruities in that reality that didn't make sense, I was able to let go of it and see what was real right before me. I was able to make the conscious choice of where I wanted to focus my attention at that moment. This is the way in which I learned to lucid dream...to notice incongruities within the dream reality.
Just having those few moments of feeling, seeing, and remembering my dad's spirit was such a surprise and such a gift. It didn't matter that the dream/OBE surroundings weren't real physical things. All that was important to me at that moment was what I was feeling.
That's another point that I want to make...an experience doesn't have to be physically real in order to be a real experience. I read so many accounts of dreams from people who say that when they saw their deceased loved one, they told themselves it can't be real. I hope my experience with my dad shows that all that dream stuff is just overlaying the real information. It's such a loss when someone interprets their experience as not real, rather than seeing it for what it truly is. I know that when you can cut away the interpreter overlay layer, you can see what's really there by what you feel. I believe that when we can "be" in our true feelings and emotions, we're most connected to our true spirit, despite the framework we see around us. So often we define reality by what we experience externally rather than by what we feel internally. In my experience with Dad, I was able to consciously shed all that "dream stuff" overlaying what was real. Choosing that focus over everything else gave me such a special moment with my dad again.
I haven't had an experience with my dad since his death in a long while! I had awoken early, was up for a few minutes, and decided to go back to bed and sleep in. It was a good opportunity to try for an OBE. I used one of my techniques where I notice myself falling closer into sleep and then actively imagine myself getting out of bed and walking out of my bedroom and through each room of my house.
This experience started as a regular dream in which I was visiting Bruce and his wife at their house in Florida. It was like reliving my real vacation there from last year. In that real visit, and in my dream, Bruce wanted some time alone to work in his office and I had wanted to spend time with him. I had no choice but to wait until he was finished. In the real experience, in the meantime his wife Pharon asked me if I wanted to do a puzzle with her to pass the time. We did and I enjoyed that time with her.
However, in my dream of reliving this memory, I was stuck in a state of just waiting for Bruce. The dream didn't continue on to include the part about the puzzle. Literally, all I was doing was waiting for Bruce. I didn't realize that I was dreaming until what happened next.
Suddenly I found myself getting out of bed in my own house. I had no memory of what had just been happening moments earlier. I walked out of my bedroom, out to the hallway (like I had done earlier to initiate an OBE, but at this point I hadn't yet realized I was out of body), and I stood at the top of the stairs looking down just before walking down the stairs. I had heard that someone had just walked into my house and I wanted to see who it was. I was still in the same state of waiting for Bruce, and so that was my expectation. But it wasn't Bruce. Instead, there at the bottom of the stairs, stood my dad. He said, "I'm sorry that I've been so busy in my office. To pass the time, why don't you do a puzzle with your mom." (My dad was playing into my "waiting for Bruce" frame of mind in order to get my attention).
But I was confused. I didn't understand why Dad said that. For a few seconds I just looked at Dad without saying anything. I was trying to make sense out of what he just said. And then it dawned on me. "Just a few moments ago I was at Bruce's house, waiting for him to be finished working in his office. That was when his wife asked me if I wanted to do the puzzle with her to pass the time! But now I'm suddenly at home, and my dad is standing right here in front of me! I had been waiting for Bruce, not Dad, but Dad is here. I had done the puzzle with Pharon, not mom, but my dad is right here mentioning the puzzle. The time I spent with Bruce and his wife was last year, not now. My dad is dead but he's standing right here." At that moment I consciously made the choice to "no longer be waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" because my deceased father was standing right in front of me and I wanted to know more about this. It was becoming apparent to me that waiting for Bruce at his house was becoming less and less real, while seeing my dad standing right in front of me more and more real. So I chose to focus my attention here with Dad instead of continuing to focus on my previous surroundings. I was slowly finally understanding what was really going on. I consciously thought to myself, "That was a dream. But this is real."
It had taken a lot of patience for me to do all that processing, while standing at the top of the stairs looking at my dad. But when this realization hit me, everything became clear. Colors brightened, everything was very vivid. I was consciously aware that just a few moments ago I was dreaming. I was at this point very lucid, having a lucid dream. But it was more than just a dream. I checked again by thinking to myself, "I suddenly went from being at Bruce's house to being home. My dad knew about me waiting and about the puzzle. I know my dad is dead but he is right here. I know this isn't physical reality. And I know I had just been dreaming. Could this too also be just a dream?" I stood there, still processing all of this, while still looking down at my dad. He hadn't moved or changed, but only looked at me, smiling.
I don't know how long I stood there at the top of the stairs processing it all, but as I stood there looking at my dad, he smiled patiently. I suddenly noticed how young and healthy he looked, and it made me remember the other times that he's visited me since his death. Now he looked younger and healthier than he had ever looked in those other experiences. When he spoke before, about the puzzle, he had moved his lips. But now in this more vivid and lucid experience, Dad talked to me through his thoughts.
"Hi Vicky, I'm here to see you," he said. When he said that to me I thought, "Yes, it's a dream, a dream scene, not physical reality, but that's really my dad. I must be having an out-of-body experience." The interpreter overlay was gone. No more need for my dad's spirit to find a way to play a part in the dream reality that I had momentarily been focused in when I was "waiting for Bruce" and his wife was about to ask me to do the puzzle to pass the time. Now that I was consciously aware and had made the choice to turn my focus toward my dad rather than toward the dream reality, everything was so much more clear. I thought, "Oh my God, that's my dad. He's really here!"
I stood there in awe, so happy to see my dad. So happy to consciously realize what was happening. "My dad is here," I thought to myself. "He's really here!" That little girl part of me just wanted my daddy so much. He stood there patiently smiling up at me, allowing me to take it all in.
My emotions overtook me at that moment and I hurried down the stairs and wrapped my arms around my dad's neck, hugged him tight. I remember thinking and feeling that I was so happy to see my dad, so happy that he had come to see me, and so happy to see him so healthy looking. That's all I could think and feel at that moment, just surprise and joy at seeing my dad again.
And then suddenly I awoke.
The realness and vividness of this experience, along with my very clear and lucid conscious awareness proved to me that this visit from my dad was real. No doubt about it in my mind. He had found a way to become part of my reality in order to allow me to really notice consciously that he was really there. He took the opportunity of me being in a state of "waiting for Bruce to come out of his office" as a means to make his way into my awareness in a way that I would notice him consciously.
That one little window of opportunity could have been missed by me, if I hadn't consciously paid attention to the "flaw" in my current reality. Once I was consciously aware of the flaws and incongruities in that reality that didn't make sense, I was able to let go of it and see what was real right before me. I was able to make the conscious choice of where I wanted to focus my attention at that moment. This is the way in which I learned to lucid dream...to notice incongruities within the dream reality.
Just having those few moments of feeling, seeing, and remembering my dad's spirit was such a surprise and such a gift. It didn't matter that the dream/OBE surroundings weren't real physical things. All that was important to me at that moment was what I was feeling.
That's another point that I want to make...an experience doesn't have to be physically real in order to be a real experience. I read so many accounts of dreams from people who say that when they saw their deceased loved one, they told themselves it can't be real. I hope my experience with my dad shows that all that dream stuff is just overlaying the real information. It's such a loss when someone interprets their experience as not real, rather than seeing it for what it truly is. I know that when you can cut away the interpreter overlay layer, you can see what's really there by what you feel. I believe that when we can "be" in our true feelings and emotions, we're most connected to our true spirit, despite the framework we see around us. So often we define reality by what we experience externally rather than by what we feel internally. In my experience with Dad, I was able to consciously shed all that "dream stuff" overlaying what was real. Choosing that focus over everything else gave me such a special moment with my dad again.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I CAN'T PLAY TODAY
Several years ago when I was still married, Josh, the little 5-year-old neighbor boy, would periodically come by the house and ring the bell. He always said the oddest thing, but then again he was only 5. The first time it happened I never questioned it or gave it much thought. Josh rang the bell and when I answered it he told me, "Hi Vicky! I just wanted to tell you that I can't play today." It caught me off guard and I assumed he meant to say that he came by to tell me he could play today. I checked, "Oh, do you mean you can play?"
"Nope, I can't play today. We have to go to the store," Josh said, with his usual smile from ear to ear. He was always such a happy kid, but for the life of me it made no sense why a kid would be happy that he couldn't play. And why was he telling me this?
I just told him "ok", and off he went, happy as a clam. I had no idea what this was all about, but I quickly forget about it. Until the next time Josh rang the bell.
The second time he came by, I thought I'd pre-empt him by opening the door and immediately saying, "The kids aren't home right now," since I assumed he was here for them. On this occasion he said, "I didn't come for David and Abby. I came to see you." This too caught me off guard. My attempt to quickly get rid of him (not that he was a bad kid, but he was a kid and I was a grown up and being a grown up meant I was busy and had things to do) had failed, but I thought he was only telling me he was here to see me since I had already told him that the kids were not home.
"Oh you did? What's up?" I replied.
"I can't play today," Josh said.
This scenario, in one form or another, happened at least once a week. There were times when my kids played with him, so there was nothing unusual there. The only unusual thing was when Josh would inform me that he couldn't play on a particular day. After this became our usual thing, I got the notion that Josh was specifically telling me that he couldn't play, and it wasn't so that I'd inform the kids. He never wanted the kids, only me. Me. Again, I'm a grown up. Why this 5-year-old who I didn't know wanted to inform me that he wasn't available for me to play with, I had no idea. I once asked his older sister why he did this and she just laughed and said she had no idea. "He's just weird I guess," she'd said.
An affinity for Josh grew, and I became so curious about why he acted as if he and I had some kind of connection. He was a cute kid. Never caused any trouble. And he was always just so darn happy to see me, even on the days when he said he couldn't play. And he wasn't making it up either. His mom would be waiting in the car while Josh ran over to inform me he couldn't play because they had to run errands that day. I always wondered what his mother thought!
I decided to set an intention to find out what connection Josh and I had, or at least get some insight as to what this was all about. My intention was pure and simple, "Is there something about Josh that I'm not aware of, something we do together nonphysically maybe, or something he perceives of me that I don't know about?" I set my intention before bed, hoping the answer would come to me somehow. I'd had a lot of experience having OBEs this way, by setting an intention before bed.
This one worked like a charm. I found myself in the most exhausting OBE I've ever had. In it, Josh and I were playing in a gigantic indoor playground. It was the size of a warehouse and had tall, winding staircases that went up a couple stories or more. There were kids running, laughing, having a good time. There were games, food, candy, and lots of things to do and look at. It was like a cross between an amusement park and a playground and there was so much to do you couldn't have done it all in one day. Josh was in the lead, "Come on! Let's go this way!" I obediently followed Josh, running to catch up to him, trying to catch my breath at the same time. We played and ran, and ran and played. We were nonstop having fun, chasing each other and eating and playing. It sure was a neat place.
At some point a sense of familiarity came over me and I'd realized I'd been here before many times. I stopped, pondering that thought, as if it were the first time I had thought about it. Then as if coming out of a state of amnesia, it hit me. I remembered my intent to have an OBE to find out what this thing with Josh was all about. I stood there amidst the noise, chaos and kid-fun. Up until then I had played with Josh, almost mindlessly, not paying attention to anything but the moment. But as I stood there remembering, realizing with full awareness that this wasn't physical reality, I suddenly felt exhausted. This was a nonphysical place, not physically real, but this is what Josh and I did together (for some reason) on occasion. And those days when Josh would come by the house to tell me that he couldn't play today, this is what he was talking about. In little Josh's mind this place was real. And he and I played together here.
I awoke completely worn out, totally exhausted from that experience. I thought to myself, "I never felt this way before, or maybe I have and just thought I'd had a bad night's sleep or something. But now that I am aware of all that nonphysical activity, I'm also aware of how exhausted I feel. Maybe if I hadn't set intent to know, I wouldn't feel this way right now." My grown-up body wasn't used to all that kid-fun stuff, as neat as it was.
Josh probably woke up remembering these experiences, and I'm sure when he did he wanted to get right back at it. But sometimes he had to do other things, like get in the car and go somewhere. These were the times when Josh would happily come over to let me know he couldn't do it today. I guess he didn't want to disappoint me!
What was going on with Josh, I assumed, was that he probably didn't have memory of this experience all the time, but when he did it was so real to him that he had no way of knowing it wasn't physical reality. He probably had many occasions when he either didn't remember the OBE, or he did but he patiently assumed it would just happen again. Then, when his mom or dad disrupted him from whatever activity was consuming his attention at the moment, that's when Josh would suddenly realize that he was going to be busy, and that his waiting for our play time to "just happen" again would be put on hold. That's when he'd come tell me he couldn't play.
It made sense. I mean, it made as much sense as it could. When you're a 5-year-old, the boundaries between physical and nonphysical reality are easily blurred and constantly overlapping. Young children don't pay attention to the proper order of sequence of how and when things happen. Their attention span is too much in-the-moment to be bothered with boring details.
And although it was amazing to have the OBE that I had so that I could make some sense of Josh's pre-occupation with me, I never did find out why he and I nonphysically played together in the first place! Well, I'm a kid at heart and I love kids, so I'm not too surprised.
"Nope, I can't play today. We have to go to the store," Josh said, with his usual smile from ear to ear. He was always such a happy kid, but for the life of me it made no sense why a kid would be happy that he couldn't play. And why was he telling me this?
I just told him "ok", and off he went, happy as a clam. I had no idea what this was all about, but I quickly forget about it. Until the next time Josh rang the bell.
The second time he came by, I thought I'd pre-empt him by opening the door and immediately saying, "The kids aren't home right now," since I assumed he was here for them. On this occasion he said, "I didn't come for David and Abby. I came to see you." This too caught me off guard. My attempt to quickly get rid of him (not that he was a bad kid, but he was a kid and I was a grown up and being a grown up meant I was busy and had things to do) had failed, but I thought he was only telling me he was here to see me since I had already told him that the kids were not home.
"Oh you did? What's up?" I replied.
"I can't play today," Josh said.
This scenario, in one form or another, happened at least once a week. There were times when my kids played with him, so there was nothing unusual there. The only unusual thing was when Josh would inform me that he couldn't play on a particular day. After this became our usual thing, I got the notion that Josh was specifically telling me that he couldn't play, and it wasn't so that I'd inform the kids. He never wanted the kids, only me. Me. Again, I'm a grown up. Why this 5-year-old who I didn't know wanted to inform me that he wasn't available for me to play with, I had no idea. I once asked his older sister why he did this and she just laughed and said she had no idea. "He's just weird I guess," she'd said.
An affinity for Josh grew, and I became so curious about why he acted as if he and I had some kind of connection. He was a cute kid. Never caused any trouble. And he was always just so darn happy to see me, even on the days when he said he couldn't play. And he wasn't making it up either. His mom would be waiting in the car while Josh ran over to inform me he couldn't play because they had to run errands that day. I always wondered what his mother thought!
I decided to set an intention to find out what connection Josh and I had, or at least get some insight as to what this was all about. My intention was pure and simple, "Is there something about Josh that I'm not aware of, something we do together nonphysically maybe, or something he perceives of me that I don't know about?" I set my intention before bed, hoping the answer would come to me somehow. I'd had a lot of experience having OBEs this way, by setting an intention before bed.
This one worked like a charm. I found myself in the most exhausting OBE I've ever had. In it, Josh and I were playing in a gigantic indoor playground. It was the size of a warehouse and had tall, winding staircases that went up a couple stories or more. There were kids running, laughing, having a good time. There were games, food, candy, and lots of things to do and look at. It was like a cross between an amusement park and a playground and there was so much to do you couldn't have done it all in one day. Josh was in the lead, "Come on! Let's go this way!" I obediently followed Josh, running to catch up to him, trying to catch my breath at the same time. We played and ran, and ran and played. We were nonstop having fun, chasing each other and eating and playing. It sure was a neat place.
At some point a sense of familiarity came over me and I'd realized I'd been here before many times. I stopped, pondering that thought, as if it were the first time I had thought about it. Then as if coming out of a state of amnesia, it hit me. I remembered my intent to have an OBE to find out what this thing with Josh was all about. I stood there amidst the noise, chaos and kid-fun. Up until then I had played with Josh, almost mindlessly, not paying attention to anything but the moment. But as I stood there remembering, realizing with full awareness that this wasn't physical reality, I suddenly felt exhausted. This was a nonphysical place, not physically real, but this is what Josh and I did together (for some reason) on occasion. And those days when Josh would come by the house to tell me that he couldn't play today, this is what he was talking about. In little Josh's mind this place was real. And he and I played together here.
I awoke completely worn out, totally exhausted from that experience. I thought to myself, "I never felt this way before, or maybe I have and just thought I'd had a bad night's sleep or something. But now that I am aware of all that nonphysical activity, I'm also aware of how exhausted I feel. Maybe if I hadn't set intent to know, I wouldn't feel this way right now." My grown-up body wasn't used to all that kid-fun stuff, as neat as it was.
Josh probably woke up remembering these experiences, and I'm sure when he did he wanted to get right back at it. But sometimes he had to do other things, like get in the car and go somewhere. These were the times when Josh would happily come over to let me know he couldn't do it today. I guess he didn't want to disappoint me!
What was going on with Josh, I assumed, was that he probably didn't have memory of this experience all the time, but when he did it was so real to him that he had no way of knowing it wasn't physical reality. He probably had many occasions when he either didn't remember the OBE, or he did but he patiently assumed it would just happen again. Then, when his mom or dad disrupted him from whatever activity was consuming his attention at the moment, that's when Josh would suddenly realize that he was going to be busy, and that his waiting for our play time to "just happen" again would be put on hold. That's when he'd come tell me he couldn't play.
It made sense. I mean, it made as much sense as it could. When you're a 5-year-old, the boundaries between physical and nonphysical reality are easily blurred and constantly overlapping. Young children don't pay attention to the proper order of sequence of how and when things happen. Their attention span is too much in-the-moment to be bothered with boring details.
And although it was amazing to have the OBE that I had so that I could make some sense of Josh's pre-occupation with me, I never did find out why he and I nonphysically played together in the first place! Well, I'm a kid at heart and I love kids, so I'm not too surprised.
Monday, March 28, 2011
A BIRD'S TRANSITION INTO THE AFTERLIFE
Last year, in July 2010, I had spent a little over a week visiting with Bruce and his wife at their home in Florida. I hadn't wanted to come home. It was so hard to say bye to Bruce. I could tell he didn't want to cry, so he just hugged me, gave me a kiss, said bye, and walked back to the car. I was in tears. I'm such a big softy. No, big baby is more like it. I can't stand saying goodbye.
So upon returning home I was a bit out of it, I guess you could say. My focus of awareness was so focused there, at Bruce's house, that returning home felt like I was walking in a dream. I had even had a brief out-of-body experience on my last morning there....I had awoken early and went back to sleep, taking the opportunity to imagine myself getting out of bed and walking throughout the house. It's my easy trick for inducing a quick OBE. Immediately I was completely "out" and found myself in their living room. I thought, I wonder where Bruce is, and immediately the scene changed. I was no longer in their house but instead found myself in a Japanese temple garden. The building wrapped around the garden, squarely bordering it with a low-roofed porch. Bruce was standing there in the middle of the small garden which seemed dwarfed by his tall frame. Almost unaware of my presence, he gazed---intrigued by the architectural structure---at the temple. He turned to look at me and said, "Since you're having an out-of-body experience, you should use this opportunity to experiment. Why don't you go to the kitchen in my house and look at the phone. You can try to read the time on the display." Because of his suggestion my attention immediately obeyed, and I found myself standing in his kitchen looking toward the phone. I awoke then.
Upon returning home that night I had another brief OBE. Something had awoken me and at first I believed I was physically awake. I got out of bed with urgency and amnesia. I didn't recognize where I was. I stood at my bedroom window and looked out onto my backyard. I could see clearly, recognized my yard, but didn't believe I was actually there. "I'm not home, I'm still at Bruce's house. How can I be here?" My awareness and energy were still so much fully focused at Bruce's house that it felt so unreal to be anywhere else. I turned to look into my bedroom, which I could also see clearly in the dark. I recognized it as my room but still did not feel I was actually there. I was so confused that I crawled back into bed and went back to sleep. When I got up in the morning I realized it had been an OBE and was the reason I was able to see so clearly in the dark without my glasses on. It's one of the tale-tell signs for me, although at the time of an OBE or any waking physical reality nonphysical experience, I forget to realize that my normal physical senses aren't as acute as those of nonphysical perception.
A good example of what I mean is what happened next, the next morning. It was a Sunday morning, less than 48 hours after returning from Bruce's house, with my awareness STILL so completely focused on not wanting to leave Bruce, that I was still in a sort of dreamy daze. It was 5:30 a.m., dark, and I was on my way to work. Suddenly, something came flying toward my windshield. A big blackbird. I hit the brakes but it was too late. The bird whacked into my windshield so hard it made a loud, cringe-causing, sound. Immediately the bird walloped onto the roof of my car and I looked into the rear-view and then the side-view mirror to see anything. I felt so bad about colliding with the bird and hoped, despite that awful sound, that it was ok. Fortunately I saw him roll off the roof from the right side of the car and land on his feet in the grass. He did this funny little shaky-dance thing, like some cartoon character would have. He shook his entire body as if to shake-off the "willies" of a near-death experience. I smiled.
I was so relieved the little guy was going to be all right.
I drove to work, worked my 10.25 hour shift, and upon coming back out to the parking lot that evening found a horrible sight. There was something on the roof of my car, wedged under the luggage rack. I had to open my car door and step onto the inside frame in order to be tall enough to see the roof, and there was the black bird, dead. For a few moments I was so confused. How could that be? After hitting my windshield and bouncing onto the roof, the bird had fallen off the car and into the grass. I saw it! Could it have been a different bird that had instead stood there in the grass? It didn't seem reasonable. I knew what I had seen, saw the poor little guy flip head over tail over the edge of the top of my car, saw him do his funny little dance, and saw the expression on his face which said, "Whoa, that was close!"
Then it dawned on me. How could I have had such great eyesight in the dark, while driving about 40 miles per hour, and see the expression on a bird's face in the passenger side-view mirror? How could I have even known what he was thinking?
Taking a plastic grocery bag from my car, I used it to pry the bird from the roof, wrapped him in the bag, and placed it on the floor of my car. As I drove home I cried. I replayed that morning's events in my mind, checked the passenger side-view as I drove, and realized there was no normal way I could have "physically" seen what I had. It must have been with a nonphysical sense of vision that I had seen the dead bird appear to still be alive, appear shaken from the accident, and appear relieved that he was still "alive".
The bird's transition into the afterlife had been so abrupt that he was unaware of it. To him, nothing had changed. He was still alive. That quick transition also meant he had died instantly. Thank God.
It's amazing that the nonphysical senses can kick in so easily without detection. It makes me think we probably experience seeing nonphysical things all the time without even realizing it. We just take it for granted that everything in our experience is physical.
So upon returning home I was a bit out of it, I guess you could say. My focus of awareness was so focused there, at Bruce's house, that returning home felt like I was walking in a dream. I had even had a brief out-of-body experience on my last morning there....I had awoken early and went back to sleep, taking the opportunity to imagine myself getting out of bed and walking throughout the house. It's my easy trick for inducing a quick OBE. Immediately I was completely "out" and found myself in their living room. I thought, I wonder where Bruce is, and immediately the scene changed. I was no longer in their house but instead found myself in a Japanese temple garden. The building wrapped around the garden, squarely bordering it with a low-roofed porch. Bruce was standing there in the middle of the small garden which seemed dwarfed by his tall frame. Almost unaware of my presence, he gazed---intrigued by the architectural structure---at the temple. He turned to look at me and said, "Since you're having an out-of-body experience, you should use this opportunity to experiment. Why don't you go to the kitchen in my house and look at the phone. You can try to read the time on the display." Because of his suggestion my attention immediately obeyed, and I found myself standing in his kitchen looking toward the phone. I awoke then.
Upon returning home that night I had another brief OBE. Something had awoken me and at first I believed I was physically awake. I got out of bed with urgency and amnesia. I didn't recognize where I was. I stood at my bedroom window and looked out onto my backyard. I could see clearly, recognized my yard, but didn't believe I was actually there. "I'm not home, I'm still at Bruce's house. How can I be here?" My awareness and energy were still so much fully focused at Bruce's house that it felt so unreal to be anywhere else. I turned to look into my bedroom, which I could also see clearly in the dark. I recognized it as my room but still did not feel I was actually there. I was so confused that I crawled back into bed and went back to sleep. When I got up in the morning I realized it had been an OBE and was the reason I was able to see so clearly in the dark without my glasses on. It's one of the tale-tell signs for me, although at the time of an OBE or any waking physical reality nonphysical experience, I forget to realize that my normal physical senses aren't as acute as those of nonphysical perception.
A good example of what I mean is what happened next, the next morning. It was a Sunday morning, less than 48 hours after returning from Bruce's house, with my awareness STILL so completely focused on not wanting to leave Bruce, that I was still in a sort of dreamy daze. It was 5:30 a.m., dark, and I was on my way to work. Suddenly, something came flying toward my windshield. A big blackbird. I hit the brakes but it was too late. The bird whacked into my windshield so hard it made a loud, cringe-causing, sound. Immediately the bird walloped onto the roof of my car and I looked into the rear-view and then the side-view mirror to see anything. I felt so bad about colliding with the bird and hoped, despite that awful sound, that it was ok. Fortunately I saw him roll off the roof from the right side of the car and land on his feet in the grass. He did this funny little shaky-dance thing, like some cartoon character would have. He shook his entire body as if to shake-off the "willies" of a near-death experience. I smiled.
I was so relieved the little guy was going to be all right.
I drove to work, worked my 10.25 hour shift, and upon coming back out to the parking lot that evening found a horrible sight. There was something on the roof of my car, wedged under the luggage rack. I had to open my car door and step onto the inside frame in order to be tall enough to see the roof, and there was the black bird, dead. For a few moments I was so confused. How could that be? After hitting my windshield and bouncing onto the roof, the bird had fallen off the car and into the grass. I saw it! Could it have been a different bird that had instead stood there in the grass? It didn't seem reasonable. I knew what I had seen, saw the poor little guy flip head over tail over the edge of the top of my car, saw him do his funny little dance, and saw the expression on his face which said, "Whoa, that was close!"
Then it dawned on me. How could I have had such great eyesight in the dark, while driving about 40 miles per hour, and see the expression on a bird's face in the passenger side-view mirror? How could I have even known what he was thinking?
Taking a plastic grocery bag from my car, I used it to pry the bird from the roof, wrapped him in the bag, and placed it on the floor of my car. As I drove home I cried. I replayed that morning's events in my mind, checked the passenger side-view as I drove, and realized there was no normal way I could have "physically" seen what I had. It must have been with a nonphysical sense of vision that I had seen the dead bird appear to still be alive, appear shaken from the accident, and appear relieved that he was still "alive".
The bird's transition into the afterlife had been so abrupt that he was unaware of it. To him, nothing had changed. He was still alive. That quick transition also meant he had died instantly. Thank God.
It's amazing that the nonphysical senses can kick in so easily without detection. It makes me think we probably experience seeing nonphysical things all the time without even realizing it. We just take it for granted that everything in our experience is physical.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
THE RIGHT PEOPLE WILL HEAR THIS STORY
A new friend informed me I haven't updated my blog in a while. Thanks Patti! Her book, Mainstream Mystic is very similar to mine in fact. We did a book exchange in the mail and I can't wait til her book arrives so I can see how much more I know than she does about all this stuff. Just kidding! I'm really looking forward to reading her life stories surrounding her own spiritual experiences. Every time I read or hear stories like these, they not only inspire me in my own life but also bring such a heartwarming feeling to know that a lot of other people are having the same experiences as I am. We're all on our own journey of self discovery, and it's so important to share that with anyone who is willing to listen.
Writing this right now just reminded me of something my dad once told me, before he died that is. (By the way, that's fun to say. When I learned to open my perception one of the perks was learning that I can communicate with people even though they're not physically living anymore. So sometimes my way of explaining a story involves adding little minor details like, "Oh, and this was a conversation that took place after so-and-so died." When you have friends who completely understand what it's like to communicate nonphysically, then this is a normal conversation. And when you talk this way out in public, knowing that complete strangers are overhearing you and wondering what in the world you're talking about, well it's just fun to do that. I keep waiting for someone to be inquisitive enough to ask what we're talking about! It'll happen one day).
Ok, what I was reminded about my dad was something that happened back in 1997. I finally opened up and shared one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life so far, and to my relief and surprise my dad told me, "Vicky, you need to tell that story as often as possible. Don't be afraid of what people will think. The right people need to hear your story!" It was so inspiring. My dad and his little gems of wisdom. I love remembering these moments.
What prompted this happened a year earlier. In my book, Persephone's Journey, I tell the story about how my 8-month-old son had saved my life. Our sweet baby boy always slept through the night, and instead of hearing crying from him upon awakening, you'd hear him laughing and talking to himself through the baby monitor. But one night he did cry, for the first time. It woke us up of course and took us literally a minute or two to figure out what this new sound was. At 3 in the morning, my husband was not happy about having to get up. "He's never cried before, why is he crying now?" I decided to get up too, to help, even though my husband offered to do it himself. But once I sat up in bed, I knew something was wrong. But I had no idea how serious it actually was. If it hadn't been for our son crying us awake, I would have drowned in my own blood.
I had had no idea that a large pseudotumor (it was suggested it was probably scar tissue) was growing inside my lower left lung. It had grown so big that it broke open blood vessels that had slowly been leaking. I had had no idea, despite all the recent coughing, that my lungs were filling with blood. On this particular night my lungs were as filled as they were going to get before I'd have taken my last breath. If I hadn't woken up when I did and coughed up enough blood from my lungs, I would have died in my sleep that morning.
At the hospital I met a man named Luis. That's all I knew about him, pretty much. He seemed like a caring hospital worker whose job it was to consol patients before surgery. I had prayed, silently and alone, for God to just let me know if I was going to die. I wanted to live of course, but if death was in the cards at this time in my life, then I just didn't want it to be a surprise. "Please just let me know if I'm going to die." Luis had indeed tried to consol me many times, assuring me I wasn't going to die. It never occured to me that he was answering my prayer. It's funny how when you pray you don't actually expect an answer.
A couple days after my surgery and I was feeling better, the nurse allowed me to sleep through the night undisturbed. Up until then I literally had a nurse coming in to check on me once or twice an hour. But on this night I was allowed to fully rest, and those several hours of sleep were much needed. I awoke at 2:30 in the morning fully rested, but wishing I had some company. I immediately thought of calling my husband but didn't want to wake him and the baby. I even considered buzzing the nurse in just so I wouldn't be alone. But then I remembered Luis, the nice young man who had been so loving, kind, and patient with me. He had been so nice during each of his visits, either telling me not to worry, telling me that I was going to make it through the surgery, or saying a prayer with me. I just loved his company. His presence was like nothing I'd ever felt from anyone before. I lie there thinking, I wish he'd come visit me again.
At that moment there was movement next to my bed and I turned. Luis was suddenly standing in the room next to my bed. He had this soft glow around him, and I could instantly feel that incredible energy presence of his again. I said in complete amazement, "It's you! You're here!" And Luis said, "I'm always here for you, Vicky".
He explained why he was here, to remind me of my prayer. He said he had come to answer it. He said it was his job to come here to give me that answer, and that he'd tried many times to answer it. "Before your surgery you wanted to know if you were going to die. I came to tell you that you weren't going to die, do you remember that?" I had to admit, I hadn't even realized it. I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't believe you." It was true. All the times that Luis was telling me I had nothing to worry about, that I wasn't going to die, I didn't believe him. I assumed he was just being nice. I had no idea he was actually answering my prayer to God. Luis said, "That's why I'm here. To let you know that it was my job to come to you."
I still remember the feeling of shock and amazement and can imagine the look on my face. I thanked him, and he came and sat on my bedside one last time. Said another prayer with me, and you know what? Every day of my life since then I wish I could remember word for word what he said in that prayer, but I cannot. All I can remember is looking into Luis' face, seeing that soft golden aura that surrounded him, and feeling the love and kindness in his energy field that emanated from him. I was indeed in awe. Probably couldn't have even said my own name at the time. I often remember that state of shock. Not scared, but blown away. There ARE angels, I had thought to myself.
After that experience I didn't tell anyone about it. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I thought about it every single day, every single day! But a year later while visiting at my parents house and thinking about my gratitude at my one-year anniversary of the day I nearly drowned in my own blood, I decided to finally speak up. I said to mom, "I need to tell you something." She listened, didn't say a word as I told her the entire story. I was afraid of what she'd think of me. When I was done she simply said, "Let me go get your dad. He needs to hear this." I was 8 months pregnant with my second child then, and sitting on the back patio. I remember waiting for her to get dad, and wondering what they'd both think of me. Would they be worried I was just making it all up?
When she came back with dad and I re-told the story again, my dad had said, "Vicky, you need to tell everyone you can about this. Keep telling it to anyone who will listen! Don't ever be afraid of what people will think. This is important and the right people will hear this story!" It was an amazing moment, to have both my parents not only completely believing and supporting me, but also encouraging me to speak out and share my experiences. I'm so grateful for that.
Writing this right now just reminded me of something my dad once told me, before he died that is. (By the way, that's fun to say. When I learned to open my perception one of the perks was learning that I can communicate with people even though they're not physically living anymore. So sometimes my way of explaining a story involves adding little minor details like, "Oh, and this was a conversation that took place after so-and-so died." When you have friends who completely understand what it's like to communicate nonphysically, then this is a normal conversation. And when you talk this way out in public, knowing that complete strangers are overhearing you and wondering what in the world you're talking about, well it's just fun to do that. I keep waiting for someone to be inquisitive enough to ask what we're talking about! It'll happen one day).
Ok, what I was reminded about my dad was something that happened back in 1997. I finally opened up and shared one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life so far, and to my relief and surprise my dad told me, "Vicky, you need to tell that story as often as possible. Don't be afraid of what people will think. The right people need to hear your story!" It was so inspiring. My dad and his little gems of wisdom. I love remembering these moments.
What prompted this happened a year earlier. In my book, Persephone's Journey, I tell the story about how my 8-month-old son had saved my life. Our sweet baby boy always slept through the night, and instead of hearing crying from him upon awakening, you'd hear him laughing and talking to himself through the baby monitor. But one night he did cry, for the first time. It woke us up of course and took us literally a minute or two to figure out what this new sound was. At 3 in the morning, my husband was not happy about having to get up. "He's never cried before, why is he crying now?" I decided to get up too, to help, even though my husband offered to do it himself. But once I sat up in bed, I knew something was wrong. But I had no idea how serious it actually was. If it hadn't been for our son crying us awake, I would have drowned in my own blood.
I had had no idea that a large pseudotumor (it was suggested it was probably scar tissue) was growing inside my lower left lung. It had grown so big that it broke open blood vessels that had slowly been leaking. I had had no idea, despite all the recent coughing, that my lungs were filling with blood. On this particular night my lungs were as filled as they were going to get before I'd have taken my last breath. If I hadn't woken up when I did and coughed up enough blood from my lungs, I would have died in my sleep that morning.
At the hospital I met a man named Luis. That's all I knew about him, pretty much. He seemed like a caring hospital worker whose job it was to consol patients before surgery. I had prayed, silently and alone, for God to just let me know if I was going to die. I wanted to live of course, but if death was in the cards at this time in my life, then I just didn't want it to be a surprise. "Please just let me know if I'm going to die." Luis had indeed tried to consol me many times, assuring me I wasn't going to die. It never occured to me that he was answering my prayer. It's funny how when you pray you don't actually expect an answer.
A couple days after my surgery and I was feeling better, the nurse allowed me to sleep through the night undisturbed. Up until then I literally had a nurse coming in to check on me once or twice an hour. But on this night I was allowed to fully rest, and those several hours of sleep were much needed. I awoke at 2:30 in the morning fully rested, but wishing I had some company. I immediately thought of calling my husband but didn't want to wake him and the baby. I even considered buzzing the nurse in just so I wouldn't be alone. But then I remembered Luis, the nice young man who had been so loving, kind, and patient with me. He had been so nice during each of his visits, either telling me not to worry, telling me that I was going to make it through the surgery, or saying a prayer with me. I just loved his company. His presence was like nothing I'd ever felt from anyone before. I lie there thinking, I wish he'd come visit me again.
At that moment there was movement next to my bed and I turned. Luis was suddenly standing in the room next to my bed. He had this soft glow around him, and I could instantly feel that incredible energy presence of his again. I said in complete amazement, "It's you! You're here!" And Luis said, "I'm always here for you, Vicky".
He explained why he was here, to remind me of my prayer. He said he had come to answer it. He said it was his job to come here to give me that answer, and that he'd tried many times to answer it. "Before your surgery you wanted to know if you were going to die. I came to tell you that you weren't going to die, do you remember that?" I had to admit, I hadn't even realized it. I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't believe you." It was true. All the times that Luis was telling me I had nothing to worry about, that I wasn't going to die, I didn't believe him. I assumed he was just being nice. I had no idea he was actually answering my prayer to God. Luis said, "That's why I'm here. To let you know that it was my job to come to you."
I still remember the feeling of shock and amazement and can imagine the look on my face. I thanked him, and he came and sat on my bedside one last time. Said another prayer with me, and you know what? Every day of my life since then I wish I could remember word for word what he said in that prayer, but I cannot. All I can remember is looking into Luis' face, seeing that soft golden aura that surrounded him, and feeling the love and kindness in his energy field that emanated from him. I was indeed in awe. Probably couldn't have even said my own name at the time. I often remember that state of shock. Not scared, but blown away. There ARE angels, I had thought to myself.
After that experience I didn't tell anyone about it. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I thought about it every single day, every single day! But a year later while visiting at my parents house and thinking about my gratitude at my one-year anniversary of the day I nearly drowned in my own blood, I decided to finally speak up. I said to mom, "I need to tell you something." She listened, didn't say a word as I told her the entire story. I was afraid of what she'd think of me. When I was done she simply said, "Let me go get your dad. He needs to hear this." I was 8 months pregnant with my second child then, and sitting on the back patio. I remember waiting for her to get dad, and wondering what they'd both think of me. Would they be worried I was just making it all up?
When she came back with dad and I re-told the story again, my dad had said, "Vicky, you need to tell everyone you can about this. Keep telling it to anyone who will listen! Don't ever be afraid of what people will think. This is important and the right people will hear this story!" It was an amazing moment, to have both my parents not only completely believing and supporting me, but also encouraging me to speak out and share my experiences. I'm so grateful for that.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
FINISHED MY RUBIK'S CUBE!!
While cleaning out the garage I came across a Rubik's Cube, all scrambled up and no doubt tossed into the garage because all of us poor saps had given up on it. I had one as a kid and even though I'm 40, solving the Rubik's Cube is still on my before-I-die to-do list.
I cheated and Googled for the instructions, and I came across the hard work someone put into video-taping a demonstration of how to solve it, complete with providing all the formulas that go along with it. For two days I studied the two-part video and played it over and over, taking notes on paper as I did. Then I perfected my own notes, adding in more descriptive detail to suit the way my own brain works. Finally I had my own set of instructions for solving the cube, perfectly tailored for me, and I tested them out several times. My kids were impressed, as was I.
While on the phone with Bruce the other day I told him my small victory. "I finally solved my Rubik's Cube!" Bruce and I are best friends and he always surreptitiously one-ups me, seemingly unintentionally but I'm not so sure. A few months ago when I purchased my new computer, a Gateway with 1 TB hard drive and 6 GB of memory and told Bruce the good news, he bragged that he had purchased one the day before that was 1.5 TB. Now he was playfully bragging that he had solved the Rubik's Cube a couple of years ago.
"Well did you solve it on your own or did you have to cheat like I did?" I asked.
"Oh I had to look up the instructions. There's no way I would have lived long enough to solve that god damn thing. I even printed up the instructions to keep on hand!" he said.
"I see you're just as big of a geek as I am. I guess I'm not the only one who does that sort of thing," I said.
"Are you kidding? he said. "I have a Rubik's Cube at each toilet so I can practice it daily. The trick is memorizing the formulas so you don't need the instructions. And I've gotten pretty good at it. I've learned how to be sneaky to look impressive, so that if I'm ever out somewhere with a Rubik's Cube and I know someone is watching me, I can turn it around pretending I'm trying to figure out what to do, then do one of the formulas and act surprised when I get the piece moved where I want it to go!" I laughed, picturing him actually doing that.
"Well you're way past me then," I said. "I still can't do it without the instructions." Bruce said I need to practice doing the formulas while watching to see how the cube moves the piece I'm working on. That's something I've tried to do but haven't succeeded at yet. Bruce said, "Yeah, sometimes I think I know what I'm doing, but then I end up turning one move the wrong way and the whole thing is messed up again!"
"Well," I said. "It was pretty awesome when I finally solved it. It was like my entire brain got drenched in endorphins at that moment. This relief I'd never felt before came over me. Thirty years of build-up, finally released!"
Bruce said, "Yeah...thirty years of Rubik's Cube foreplay finally paying off!" I laughed so hard when he said that.
"Well you know me and how I love formulas. I had no idea it was all about formulas and precise moves," I said. Bruce too said he spent many years just trying to do it one side at a time but it never worked. He said, "Well I think us folks who know how to solve it are now of higher intelligence than others!"
I agree. I don't know if it was tenacity or obsession, but the satisfaction I feel was worth it.
I cheated and Googled for the instructions, and I came across the hard work someone put into video-taping a demonstration of how to solve it, complete with providing all the formulas that go along with it. For two days I studied the two-part video and played it over and over, taking notes on paper as I did. Then I perfected my own notes, adding in more descriptive detail to suit the way my own brain works. Finally I had my own set of instructions for solving the cube, perfectly tailored for me, and I tested them out several times. My kids were impressed, as was I.
While on the phone with Bruce the other day I told him my small victory. "I finally solved my Rubik's Cube!" Bruce and I are best friends and he always surreptitiously one-ups me, seemingly unintentionally but I'm not so sure. A few months ago when I purchased my new computer, a Gateway with 1 TB hard drive and 6 GB of memory and told Bruce the good news, he bragged that he had purchased one the day before that was 1.5 TB. Now he was playfully bragging that he had solved the Rubik's Cube a couple of years ago.
"Well did you solve it on your own or did you have to cheat like I did?" I asked.
"Oh I had to look up the instructions. There's no way I would have lived long enough to solve that god damn thing. I even printed up the instructions to keep on hand!" he said.
"I see you're just as big of a geek as I am. I guess I'm not the only one who does that sort of thing," I said.
"Are you kidding? he said. "I have a Rubik's Cube at each toilet so I can practice it daily. The trick is memorizing the formulas so you don't need the instructions. And I've gotten pretty good at it. I've learned how to be sneaky to look impressive, so that if I'm ever out somewhere with a Rubik's Cube and I know someone is watching me, I can turn it around pretending I'm trying to figure out what to do, then do one of the formulas and act surprised when I get the piece moved where I want it to go!" I laughed, picturing him actually doing that.
"Well you're way past me then," I said. "I still can't do it without the instructions." Bruce said I need to practice doing the formulas while watching to see how the cube moves the piece I'm working on. That's something I've tried to do but haven't succeeded at yet. Bruce said, "Yeah, sometimes I think I know what I'm doing, but then I end up turning one move the wrong way and the whole thing is messed up again!"
"Well," I said. "It was pretty awesome when I finally solved it. It was like my entire brain got drenched in endorphins at that moment. This relief I'd never felt before came over me. Thirty years of build-up, finally released!"
Bruce said, "Yeah...thirty years of Rubik's Cube foreplay finally paying off!" I laughed so hard when he said that.
"Well you know me and how I love formulas. I had no idea it was all about formulas and precise moves," I said. Bruce too said he spent many years just trying to do it one side at a time but it never worked. He said, "Well I think us folks who know how to solve it are now of higher intelligence than others!"
I agree. I don't know if it was tenacity or obsession, but the satisfaction I feel was worth it.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
TIME HAS BEEN FLYING
It's been five months since I've posted! Besides the usual things of life, mostly I've been busy with developing my psychic abilities. I've been so focused on that and taking notes for my next book that blogging about it slipped my mind. I'm learning that I'm not developing psychic ability per se, but it's more about learning how psychic ability works and how my Guidance communicates with me. We all have psychic ability, so it's not so much about learning how to have it, it's about learning how to use skills that you already have. And we all have our own Guidance system working with us.
Guidance is the term I use to denote whatever it is out there who's guiding me...my own greater Consciousness, my higher self, the source from which my soul originated, and I wouldn't hesitate to include in there other beings and spirits who help, guide, and protect us. Whatever you call it or whatever it truely is, it's more than what I know my own physical self to be. We've all had an experience of divine intervention of one kind or another, no matter what our spiritual beliefs are. And since writing my first book, I've heard people tell me that even though they aren't sure what they believe in out there, they know we are not alone here in this world. There's so much out there to explore and experience, I know that for sure.
The amount of psychic experiences I've had over the summer has been enormous, all of which are verified, documented, and included in my next book. I've even had to take some time off from writing it just to let things sink in. I've found that things have been progressing so fast that my notes, writing style, and knowledge are changing week by week! If I look back on some old notes from a couple months ago I think, oh I'm way past that now. And that's exciting! As I write my notes, I'm including all the questions I have and all the possible things I conceive of why, how, and what if. And as I progress, I shrink that down into a more concise view of what I've learned and why it works. My next book will in one way develop as my new experiences do, but also will have to wait until I feel complete in what I've learned.
What I'd like to include in my next book is a more comprehensive overview of how others can learn to do what I'm doing. I'm excited about that. I'm also excited to continue on my own journey and also delve more into seeing, sensing, and communicating with ghosts, learning the art of retrieval, and of course my all-time favorite OBEs. I've been told I'm a little too detail oriented. I know that I do get a little technical at times, but that's how I learn. Hopefully I will be improving my writing skills along the way! It is my hope to pass on what I've learned and teach others what I'm learning about psychic abilities. Just from what I've learned so far, there's a lot more to it than just the typical beliefs. I'm finding how the psychic senses are connected with all the other spiritual and paranormal things I've experienced.
Even when things were really taking off this summer, I never let it go to my head. I really do not feel that what I'm learning is a skill or talent. Each psychic experience I have had has been an opportunity to learn about my ability to communicate with my Guidance and with other living human beings, and of course how they communicate with me. It's a two-way street. It's all interconnected. Everything we experience is something we took part in creating. And discovering the role our own consciousness plays is another component of learning about psychic development.
Guidance is the term I use to denote whatever it is out there who's guiding me...my own greater Consciousness, my higher self, the source from which my soul originated, and I wouldn't hesitate to include in there other beings and spirits who help, guide, and protect us. Whatever you call it or whatever it truely is, it's more than what I know my own physical self to be. We've all had an experience of divine intervention of one kind or another, no matter what our spiritual beliefs are. And since writing my first book, I've heard people tell me that even though they aren't sure what they believe in out there, they know we are not alone here in this world. There's so much out there to explore and experience, I know that for sure.
The amount of psychic experiences I've had over the summer has been enormous, all of which are verified, documented, and included in my next book. I've even had to take some time off from writing it just to let things sink in. I've found that things have been progressing so fast that my notes, writing style, and knowledge are changing week by week! If I look back on some old notes from a couple months ago I think, oh I'm way past that now. And that's exciting! As I write my notes, I'm including all the questions I have and all the possible things I conceive of why, how, and what if. And as I progress, I shrink that down into a more concise view of what I've learned and why it works. My next book will in one way develop as my new experiences do, but also will have to wait until I feel complete in what I've learned.
What I'd like to include in my next book is a more comprehensive overview of how others can learn to do what I'm doing. I'm excited about that. I'm also excited to continue on my own journey and also delve more into seeing, sensing, and communicating with ghosts, learning the art of retrieval, and of course my all-time favorite OBEs. I've been told I'm a little too detail oriented. I know that I do get a little technical at times, but that's how I learn. Hopefully I will be improving my writing skills along the way! It is my hope to pass on what I've learned and teach others what I'm learning about psychic abilities. Just from what I've learned so far, there's a lot more to it than just the typical beliefs. I'm finding how the psychic senses are connected with all the other spiritual and paranormal things I've experienced.
Even when things were really taking off this summer, I never let it go to my head. I really do not feel that what I'm learning is a skill or talent. Each psychic experience I have had has been an opportunity to learn about my ability to communicate with my Guidance and with other living human beings, and of course how they communicate with me. It's a two-way street. It's all interconnected. Everything we experience is something we took part in creating. And discovering the role our own consciousness plays is another component of learning about psychic development.
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