IF WE HAD OUR OWN REALITY SHOW, THIS IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT YOU'D SEE

So the kids and I were at Walmart and we pass by the 4 x 4 x 4 foot box of DVDs for $5 each. We stop to look, hoping to find The Emperor’s New Groove, knowing how slim the chances are that we'll find it there. We each take a side and start digging but the DVDs have nowhere to go. A man walks up and starts looking through them too.

Me: They really need to organize these better.

The man: Yeah. We need to put them in a cart or something as we look through them.


(The kids nod. The man leaves to go find a shopping cart).


David: This is why I hate shopping. It's a waste of time, and these are old movies anyway. Oh look, Clone Wars, cool!"

Abby: David, you're so funny. "I hate this, this is stupid. Oh look, Clone Wars!"


(The man comes back without a shopping cart and starts digging again).


Abby: Oh my God my pile almost fell over.

David: That's because there's no way to balance our stacks.

Me: Well that's why I'm holding them as I look, but it's getting to where I can't hold anymore.

Abby: Mom, you're going to drop those.

David: I'll push these back over here.

Abby: I dug a hole. Look how deep my hole is! I bet my hole is deeper than David's!

Me: I feel like we're just pushing these DVDs around. I keep getting the same ones.

David: Oh look, another Clone Wars!

Me: David, do you want Clone Wars?

David: No.

The man: Here's a good one. You'll like this one. It's a good movie.


(The man hands my son Platoon and leaves).


Me: Well I'm done here. We'll never get through them all. You guys can keep digging. I'm gonna go look at the shoes.

Abby: Well if Walmart rented me out, I'd spend all day fixing and organizing this mess and I'd make it a really good system so that people could look and find what they want.

David: Really Abby? How much would Walmart rent you for?

Abby: Oh I don't know, I'd do it for $35 an hour or so.

Me: If they "rented" you? Don't you mean "hired" you?

David: What other stuff can we rent you for, Abby?

Abby: Shut up. I just mean if I worked here I'd be really good at organizing this.

Me: I'll be in the shoes.